Christian Parenting Blog

Toddlers at Church: The Blanket-Time Solution

Written by Mary Henderson

Going to church services with babies or toddlers can be a challenge for parents. Here’s a strategy I learned from an experienced mom. It worked for us!

We were sitting beside one of those families. You know the type, with the 3-year-old boy parked on his church mat, angelically coloring while his glowing, pregnant mother and proud father listened attentively to the sermon.

Meanwhile I was struggling to keep my 12-month-old from standing on my face. I think she sat on her church mat for a grand total of 3.8 seconds. “Oh yeah, progress!” I thought.

The other kid? Well, that little fiend sat quietly on his blanket for the entire service. After church, I begged the mom for her secret.

“Blanket time,” she said.

“We’ve been trying that,” I sighed.

She laughed. “Oh, he wasn’t always like that. We started off a lot like you. Just give it time.”

So I did. And guess what? She was right.

My mischievous 12-month-old is now a 3-year-old who contentedly sits on her blanket and plays whenever I tell her to. And her baby sister does too. What happened?

Blanket time!

What’s that? It’s pretty complicated, so let me break it down: Your child sits.

On a blanket.

And plays quietly.

For a certain amount of time. Simple.

Simple, but not easy.

Why do blanket time?

Well, there’s the obvious reason. What mom (or dad) wouldn’t want 30 minutes of free time to do whatever she wants?

Let’s say you want to actually listen to the sermon at church (or at least part of it). The answer? Blanket time.

Or you have six hands helping you stir-fry in boiling oil? Blanket time.

Or maybe you just need to pray right now or you’re going to pop a cork? Blanket time.

But those are just superficial benefits. Here’s the big deal: Blanket time trains your child to obey you at an early age. And when you teach your kids to obey you, you’re teaching them to obey God.

After training our two girls, I noticed a big improvement in attention span and an all-around better attitude. My kids were a lot better behaved too.

Blanket time teaches kids to focus and obey. Mom gets recharge time. Dad gets a happier, better-rested wife to greet him when he walks in the door. Church members aren’t distracted by noisy tots fleeing into the aisles. Everybody wins.

You’ll be able to have them sit quietly anytime you want: at church services, the doctor’s office, a friend’s house, you name it. Blanket time has been a huge blessing in my house.

Okay, so how do you do it?

Here’s how I have trained my 17-month-old and 3-year-old to sit on a blanket and play quietly and happily for 30 minutes a day.

To get started, you need two things: a blanket and a baby. You also need a few fun, quiet toys and a book. Grab a timer and you’re all set.

1. Sit the child on a small blanket (crib-size or smaller).

2. Give him or her a few toys. Not too many. I like to rotate a few special toys my children don’t see too frequently just for blanket time. For example, my 17-month-old might play with stacking cups, containers with lids and pom-poms, and a dog book. My 3-year-old might have a few dolls and a library book.

3. Instruct the child to remain on the blanket and play. Say something like, “Okay, it’s blanket time now. Here are your toys. Stay on the blanket. You play until the timer goes off.” Those younger than 18 months might need more explanation. Show them the boundaries—pat the floor on all sides of the blanket and say “no, no.”

When they’re old enough to understand the concept of being quiet (that seems to naturally happen around 18 months to 2 years of age), instruct them to be quiet. I allow whispering, but you can do whatever works for you.

4. Set your timer and sit nearby while they play. Start with just two to five minutes and then gradually increase it. It’s best for you to do something (lurk) quietly nearby, pretending you aren’t watching them. Folding laundry or reading a book can be good mom activities for blanket time.

5. Discipline as needed. You might have a happy child who will sit contentedly for 10 minutes. Or you might have been blessed with a “spirited” child who wanders off every 10 seconds. Either one is capable of blanket time. Just be prepared to enforce your rules and expect your children to test you at first. They have to know you really mean it. Whimpering or crying is to be expected when first training. But don’t give up! They’ll soon get the hang of it and even come to enjoy it. The most important thing is being consistent. That means every time they venture off the blanket, give them an appropriate form of discipline and place them back on the blanket.

6. Finish when the timer goes off. Why the timer? Because kids respect the timer; it doesn’t seem arbitrary. Do whatever works for you. After the timer rings, praise them for their efforts. “All done! You did such a good job with blanket time!” Then it’s time for more fun activities!

7. Have them (help you) clean up. Tell them, “It’s clean up time.” Stow the toys, fold up the blanket and then it’s back to the normal day’s activities.

Those are the basics for training at home. Here are some ideas for questions you still may have:

What if they crawl off the blanket?

When blanket training begins, stay close. If your children dive off the blanket (and they will, of course), place them back on the blanket and say, “No, stay on the blanket.” Then direct them toward a toy on the blanket. If they disobey again, take a disciplinary action.

When should you start?

As early as you want. Some people start at infancy. I started training my oldest around 6 months, and it took until she was about 14 months to catch on. With my second daughter, I started at 14 months, and she caught on in two days. We’re still working on the “quiet” part, but I know it will happen at some point!

How long is blanket time?

Start off with five minutes or less. You want them to be successful and happy. Once they can play pleasantly for five minutes, slowly increase it up to 30 minutes a day. I trained one or two times a day for just a few minutes when training began.

How many toys should be on the blanket?

I usually use two or three toys. Some people give their kids one toy and one book. Just keep in mind that the number of toys they’re used to at home is what they’ll be used to when they’re out. So if you don’t want to haul a rolling suitcase of toys everywhere you go, keep it to a minimum. It’s surprising how few toys they will actually need to be entertained and occupied. Try to rotate the toys so they don’t get bored.

Does it have to be every day?

No. If you have small children, you know very few things happen every single day. Remember that we all have bad days, so be flexible. If blanket time would take your day from bad to meltdown, leave it for tomorrow and snuggle on the couch with a book instead. Babies were not made for blanket time, but blanket time for babies. The goal is to positively train your child. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

Our success story

Remember the “model family” I told you about earlier? Well, I followed that mom’s advice to stick with it.

And you know what? Four months later, I hauled my pregnant self and toddler to a group Bible study for the first time in—well, how old was my daughter?

It was amazing to behold. That same child who was standing on my face the previous autumn now played for the entire hour-long study. Happily. And not on my face. Afterward, people commented how well-behaved she was. “You must practice that at home,” one man said.

I smirked, “Yeah, once in a while.”

Sometimes the best successes are the ones that are hardly noticeable, sitting at your feet.

Check out our new parenting manual Encourage, Equip & Inspire to learn more principles of godly parenting.