Modesty—It’s Not Just About the Opposite Sex

What are our clothing choices saying to the young men, the young women, the teens—and everyone who sees us through Facebook?

Christian girls often approach the topic of modesty from the perspective of how our clothing choices affect our brothers in Christ—and rightly so. The way we dress should always be aimed at showing love, kindness and respect toward the men in our lives. Since God designed guys to be highly sensitive to visual stimulation, wearing revealing clothes can put a stumbling block in front of even those with the best intentions.

Yes, it is his responsibility to check his thoughts and steer clear of lust. But it is your responsibility to be the kind of friend that he can get to know without having to close his eyes every time he sees you.

More to the picture

There’s more to this picture, though. What if I were to tell you that the clothes you wear also affect your female friends?

Women live in a world of constant pressure and competition to be the most beautiful, the most attractive and the most alluring. We are bombarded every day with false worldly definitions of what true beauty is and what we must do to attain it. What’s worse, we are told that unless we achieve this impossible standard of physical “perfection,” guys will never be interested in us.

When you push the boundaries of modesty, you make it harder for other women at church. Instead of creating a safe environment free of the pressures of showing more skin, you push your friends to join the same competition that they face out in the world. Instead of being able to focus on being noticed for who we are inside, we come to believe that to get attention our skirt has to be shorter or our shirt has to plunge lower.

Not only should we stop bringing this ungodly behavior to church, but we should strive to eliminate it from every part of our lives. Every time we put something on, we need to ask ourselves, “Am I wearing this because I want to grab attention with my body?” There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, but we need to do so in an appropriate way (1 Peter 3:3-4).

For example …

Modesty should be our goal regardless of whether we are at church, at summer camp or with other friends. Whether we view ourselves this way or not, young adults are role models for the teens and kids around us. What we wear can set an even stronger example than what we say.

For example, if we tell the teen campers they are not supposed to wear bikinis at summer camp, but we wear them when we’re with our friends at the beach, what message are we sending? We are misrepresenting ourselves if we say that we uphold the standards at camp, but our Facebook accounts reveal images of us wearing more revealing clothing elsewhere.

In an age of social networking, our example extends beyond our physical presence to any representation of ourselves that we make available. We need to pay attention to the example we set on Facebook too.

As summer approaches, it can be harder to avoid immodesty. And though it takes more effort to find modest shorts, tank tops and swimwear, there are stylish options available that allow you to look attractive without dishonoring God. By taking the extra time and energy to find fun, modest clothing, you will honor God, your guy friends and your girlfriends. Be a light and set the standard for everyone around you!

Melody Hess is a microbiologist who lives in Cincinnati with her husband, Jeremy, and their two dogs, Gibble and Chico. In a few weeks she will begin working on her masters in nutrition at the University of Cincinnati. Jeremy and Melody attend the Cincinnati/Dayton, Ohio, congregation of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association.