What I Learned From a Lifelong Friendship

A treasured friendship spanning three decades became a reminder to me of God’s design for friendship and the hope of the resurrection. 

The call came during church on the Feast of Trumpets. My phone was on silent in my purse, so I didn’t see the message until after services.

The voicemail said it could be anytime now. My dear friend Karen, who was suffering from terminal cancer, was no longer responding to those around her. My heart ached because I couldn’t be there with her.

Yet as I reflected on our friendship, I realized God had taught me three important lessons through our more than 30 years together: commitment, being ready to give an answer for our faith, and keeping our promises until the end.

A friendship begins

Karen and I became close friends while I was living in Baltimore, Maryland.

Ironically, our friendship began when she received a promotion I had worked hard for. Instead of becoming resentful, I chose to support her and help her succeed. I taught her everything I knew, and together we built a friendship that lasted decades.

Over the years, we shared life’s milestones—marriages, children, graduations, family outings, double dates—and countless conversations. We knew each other’s parents, celebrated victories and supported each other through challenges.

Eight years later, my job in Baltimore ended, and I moved back to Atlanta with my family. The distance changed how close we were physically, but it didn’t change our friendship.

From that, I learned my first lesson: true friendship requires commitment, especially when life takes people in different directions. But even when miles separate friends and communication becomes less frequent and convenient, a friendship can remain strong through intentional effort. 

Different beliefs and mutual respect

I came into God’s Church as a young adult. Karen, on the other hand, did not go to any church—though she had grown up attending one of the world’s churches with her family.

Occasionally, we discussed spiritual matters. One day she asked me a question that had been troubling her. A relative had told her she would burn in hell because she no longer attended church. She wanted to know what I believed.

I briefly explained what the Bible teaches about death and the future resurrection. She listened carefully. Although our conversations about religion were infrequent, they were always respectful.

Over the years, Karen and her husband often referred to my family as “good people.” Looking back, I realize they were observing more than just our words. They were watching our example.

At one point I wondered if I should distance myself from such a close friendship with someone outside the Church. A pastor encouraged me to continue being the friend I had always been.

I’m still grateful for that counsel to this day. Through that friendship, I learned the importance of always being prepared to give an answer for the hope within us (1 Peter 3:15).

Faithful until the end

Even after I moved away, Karen and I stayed connected. Sometimes months would pass between conversations, but whenever we spoke, it felt as though no time had passed at all.

Together, from a distance, we shared many of life’s highs and lows: health crises involving our children, the loss of loved ones, job changes, friendships gained and lost, and the joy of grandchildren.  

In June 2025, my family learned that my father-in-law had terminal cancer. I texted Karen and asked her to pray for him. That was when she told me something she had been afraid to share. 

She, too, had terminal cancer.

She explained her diagnosis, the treatments she had endured and how the cancer was continuing to spread. I cried as I listened. She gently instructed me that this would be the only time I was allowed to cry when talking with her. 

I made a promise that day. I would call or text her every day, even if she became too weak to respond.

For the next three months, I kept that promise.

One final gift

On the Feast of Trumpets, I provided special music for services and asked my husband to record it. Later that day, I spoke with Karen’s husband and sent him the recording to share with Karen.

That evening I received the call I had been dreading. 

Her husband told me he had played the recording for her. As the music began, Karen turned away from the wall, looked at him, smiled through tears and then died peacefully surrounded by her family.

In a small way, I felt that God had allowed me to be there with her during her final hours.

Through that experience, I learned another important lesson for friendships: keep your promises until the end.

God’s gift of friendship

The Bible has much to say about friendship.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us that two are better than one because they can help each other when one falls. Proverbs 27:9 tells us that the heartfelt counsel of a friend is sweet and encouraging. Proverbs 18:24 speaks of a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I experienced all three of those scriptures in my friendship with Karen.

Today, I still have a promise to keep, not only to Karen, but to other loved ones as well. By staying the course, keeping the faith and enduring to the end, I can continue being a light and example to those around me.

And one day, in God’s Kingdom, I look forward to sharing with my dear friend all that God has in store for her.