We Lost a Family Member to Suicide Last Week

 

This is a difficult subject. It isn’t the first time it has happened in my personal community of family and friends. I am certain that it has happened to someone close to you, as well, because it is all too common. When I called my sister to notify her of our loss, she told me of a young boy in his mid-teens who had taken his own life just that morning at the local high school. That is why I thought it would be helpful for me—and for you—if I wrote about it.

It’s a subject spoken of in whispers even among those closest to the one we’ve lost. The details are immaterial, even though that is one thing everyone always wants to question. It is not out of a ghoulish interest, but as part of the grieving process within the shroud of shock that blankets us, that we try to make sense of what happened and try to find our individual ways to cope with it.

The reasons why people do such a thing are undoubtedly as varied as the number of people who die in this unnatural way. And yet the impact is similar family by family, friend by friend. The powerful wave of influence emanating from the event profoundly affects even people who do not know the victim well.

Victim? Yes. But he or she is only one of the victims, for the survivors are victims too, left to cope with the consequences.

There is an overwhelming temptation to judge, if not to condemn the one who dies in such a way. Personally, I have no doubt that there is almost always an underlying factor of addiction, depression or other problem so overwhelming that only the individual himself knew its depths and its weight. I am not attempting to minimize the action. My opinion is based upon decades of pastoral experience.

It’s not a time to judge.

And yet can we make a judgment about the act itself? Is it wrong—a sin—to take one’s life? There can be no doubt about the answer. The Sixth Commandment forbids murder, and suicide literally means murdering the self.

So, yes, it is sin. What effect does dying in this manner have on a person’s eternal destiny? Some take an unwarrantedly harsh view of the issue and condemn not only the act, but also the person—forever. Yet the Bible nowhere indicates that God judges a person’s life by the last act he commits.

To the contrary, the God portrayed in the Bible is a divine family consisting of a Father and a Son. A Father who hopes for the best for His children and who works on their behalf to make the best happen. A Son who is also a Brother who works daily on behalf of His brothers and sisters, leading, guiding, coaching, exhorting His spiritual siblings to “make it.”

And, when it comes to eternal judgment, the Bible reveals a God who has a firm and unbending standard of right and wrong, and yet is also a God who weighs what a believer does with his life against what burdens he had to carry, as well as what obstacles he had to surmount. Who among humankind could accurately judge the spiritual record of another human being?

There are two possible future paths for the person who dies at his own hand. Many know that God will resurrect believers at Christ’s return. This is called the first resurrection. But most read right over what Jesus said about a second resurrection. That’s right, a second resurrection. If the deceased never truly had an opportunity to understand or to do what God expected of him (and most people have not had that opportunity), then God will bring that person back to life in a second resurrection.

Is this news to you? Then, it is good news, for it is true. Christ spoke of people from different ages coming face-to-face in “the day of judgment” (Matthew 11:20-24; 12:41-42; Luke 10:12-15). Read these astonishing words for yourself and think of what they mean. He said God would bring the people of Sodom, Tyre, Sidon, Ninevah and the queen of Sheba back to life at the same time! In addition, they will come to life at the same time as those people who stood before Christ in person in the first century. The only way for this to be possible—for people who lived literally many hundreds of years apart to live again together—is for God to resurrect them at the same time.

Some readers will criticize me for even suggesting such a possibility, and to them, I say it is not a second chance at salvation but a second chance at life. And this second chance at life will be their one opportunity for salvation. Whether because of disease, accident, drug abuse or a host of other possibilities, some people have not been able to rise to the minimum level of understanding or fulfilling their spiritual responsibilities. God loves His creation and will give every human being a fair opportunity for becoming part of His family. 

God speed the day when our family member and yours will live, really live, again!