COGWA Members App
Feast App
ROKU AppLeading Our Children Toward a Commitment to God
Written by Tom Clark
The Bible teaches that each individual must make a personal commitment to God and that commitment is symbolized through water baptism. What can parents do to help?
The Church of God has always approached the commitment of baptism carefully, encouraging study, counsel, prayer and forethought. We understand the warning of Jesus Christ in Luke 9:62 to apply to baptism and taking on the life of a Christian: “But Jesus said to him, ‘No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.’”
The commitment of baptism is not something to be entered lightly or purely on a surge of emotion, but rather with a mature, reasoned acceptance of a special calling from God.
We can’t make the commitment for them
We parents know we cannot make that mature, reasoned decision for our children—no matter how desperately we may wish to have that ability! Our children must each make their own decisions in life—what they will choose to accept and believe, and how they will choose to live.
We earnestly want our children to be happy, and we know that real, lasting happiness does not come by disobeying God and choosing our own stubborn ways. Too many parents have way too much sad experience that can prove that point in spades! So we want them to learn to avoid the mistakes, and we want them to make right choices in life.
A question we should ask is: Can we help them prepare, even as young children, to make that mature, reasoned choice to be baptized when they become of age? I believe the answer is a very reassuring “yes!” It isn’t foolproof, and not every child will make the choices in life we’d like, but I believe there are some things we as parents can do to help them see the value and importance of making baptism an important goal for early in their young adult lives.
The example we set
We’ve all heard the old adage “Do as I say, not as I do.” We also know that adage is complete rubbish—it doesn’t work! Our children have the opportunity to see who we as parents are more clearly and up close than anyone else on earth. We might be able to put on a good face at church and fool some of the people. We might be able to fool coworkers and neighbors. But if we are not living Christianity 100 percent, we will not fool our children!
The apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1-3 that children are to obey their parents, pointing out that the commandment to honor parents is the “first commandment with promise.”
Do we parents understand the weight of responsibility this puts on each of us? If our children are to obey and honor us, that means we must be the kind of parents they can honor, obey and emulate so the Creator God can bless them for following in our footsteps!
Our Christianity on display
Consider a few relevant points about our parenting and home life:
What kind of language do our children hear from us around the house? Do they hear positive encouragement and pleasant words that convey love and concern? When things go wrong, do they hear the frustrations and even at times appropriate anger expressed with self-control—a control gained by exercising God’s Spirit (Colossians 4:6)? Do they always hear truth and honesty from us, even if there is a cost for being honest?
Or, on the other hand, do they sometimes hear unbridled anger, cursing and profanity? Do they hear us carelessly using God’s name? Do they hear lying and self-justification, rather than taking responsibility for our words and actions?
I know of one father who would have his wife answer the phone when it rang; and if he didn’t want to talk to the caller, he would ask her to tell the person he wasn’t home. The children were there and heard it all. Children can easily see the difference between sincere and earnest parents and hypocrites.
Do your children see you studying the Bible or praying on a regular basis? Not that we pray or study in a manner that is for show, but do they ever walk into a room and see us reading the Scriptures? Have they ever wandered into the bedroom to see us kneeling down in prayer? Do we have family Bible studies and family prayer? If we truly believe these things are important, shouldn’t the most precious little ones in our lives see it regularly in their homes?
There is another old adage to keep in mind: “What you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying.”
The example we set at home in front of our children is the most powerful thing we can do to help them learn the value and importance of committing to God in baptism and living a Christian life. Children and teens naturally tend to follow the examples of those they admire and respect. We need to be sure we are setting the finest example of God’s way of life for them at home.
Am I being called?
One question I’ve had teens ask—even my own teens—is whether or not God is calling them. A family Bible study about God’s calling is a good time to introduce 1 Corinthians 7:14: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy” (emphasis added throughout).
Because of the faithfulness of one or both parents, children of members of God’s Church are in a special category, and it is helpful for them to understand this. They are set apart with an opportunity to have a close, personal, special relationship with God. It means that the opportunity—the invitation—is present if the individual would choose to take advantage of it. Not every child will respond. But that doesn’t mean the calling hasn’t been extended.
Some parents have greatly resisted the idea that their children were called, because when their own children grew up and left the house, they also left the Church and in many cases abandoned every tenet of faith ever taught them. But please understand: Just because a child makes bad choices when he or she reaches adulthood doesn’t mean the invitation from God wasn’t there.
Neither does it mean that invitation will go away, never to be extended again! There have been many instances of children who grow up, leave the Church and faith, only to return some time later—even many years later. The calling from God didn’t expire; He just had to allow them to come to the point where they were both willing and able to finally make that commitment.
God is building a family. And we can see from scriptural examples as well as contemporary experience that God likes to work within physical families. So, our children have a special opportunity and blessing due to the fact that even just one of their parents has been called and faithful.
Nurture and admonition of the Lord
After reminding children of their responsibility to obey and honor their parents, Paul then tells parents:
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, King James Version). We fathers (and mothers) are warned to make sure our example and approach toward parenting is positive and upright, not unnecessarily provoking and driving our children away from God.
In the last part of the verse we are instructed to bring our children up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord,” a family environment that is spiritually healthy, loving and supportive of the things of God.
This is a family environment that provides teaching, correction and admonition in love. A family environment that has faith and obedience to God as the foundation, underpinning everything that is done and said. A family environment that points children toward God from their earliest memories and experiences!
Building and maintaining this kind of a home will not guarantee our children will make right and wise decisions in life and move toward making the commitment of baptism when they are of age. But it does set the stage and give them every opportunity to grow to become the happy, productive and converted adults we deeply desire them to be.
Tom Clark is a husband, father and grandfather. He pastors Church of God, a Worldwide Association, congregations in Minnesota and North Dakota.
For more about parenting and helping our children develop their relationship with God, see:
