Picky Eaters? I’m an Expert!

While I do not claim to be an expert on any other parenting subject, I do claim expertise on picky eating! In fact, I’ve been the go-to person in the family for advice on picky eaters since long before my children were born.

Why have other family members come to me for advice about their children’s food hang-ups? Knowing me as a child to be the pickiest of picky eaters, my siblings figured that if I survived to adulthood, I must have some expertise on the subject!

How picky was I? Well, I guess pizza was okay—if it didn’t have that red sauce on it. Or the cheese. The Kentucky Fried Chicken that my friends fought over at our class picnic? “Uh, I’m not very hungry right now.”

Like many parents of picky eaters, my parents tried it all:

• “There are children in India who are starving. They would be so thankful to have what’s on your plate!”
• “Young lady, you will sit right here at the table until you finish your meatloaf!”
• “Just try a little bit! You’ll really like it! I’ll give you 50 cents if you’ll try this hamburger!”
• My memory dims on this, but I think there might even have been a threat (or delivery) of a spanking at one time or another.

All of their tactics made no difference. Even if I did successfully choke down the required bites, I remained a picky eater.

Child development experts say …

Many children go through a stage of being finicky about their food. Toddlers have a well-deserved reputation of being picky eaters. But some of it is a matter of perception. As the AskDrSears website explains, “After a year of rapid growth (the average one-year-old has tripled her birth weight), toddlers gain weight more slowly. So, of course, they need less food. The fact that these little ones are always on the go also affects their eating patterns. They don’t sit still for anything, even food.”

There can be other factors for why some children are reluctant eaters. Some children are simply not adventurous. Trying new foods is somewhat scary. Or they may have sensory issues—with food texture, aroma or strong flavors, for instance. Or they may have had a bad experience with some foods.

And there can be power struggles with food. A new study shows that parents “who pressure their kids to chow down produce youngsters who are more likely to be picky eaters. The answers given by 104 mothers of children ages 3 through 6 in the United Kingdom to questions about their kids’ behaviors showed that urging them to eat significantly raised the chances the kids would dig in their heels and refuse.”

Thankfully, my parents gave up!

At some point—I can’t remember when—my parents simply gave up on trying to solve my eating problems. Maybe it was the fact that they could see I was still alive and growing. Maybe they just grew tired of the battles. In any case, the experts would say they did the right thing.

Peer pressure and my discomfort when eating at friends’ or relatives’ houses were far more punishing than anything my parents could deliver anyway. It wasn’t long before I wanted to avoid embarrassment and enjoy the shared pleasure of eating with others. There wasn’t any sudden breakthrough, but with my own self-motivation at work, I gradually became more willing to try different foods. (I now love pizza!)

Is there anything parents can do?

So what’s the advice I, as a (mostly) reformed picky eater, give to parents of picky eaters?

• Keep junk foods out of your house so that your children can’t fill up on empty calories.
• Don’t make food a battle. Make mealtime a pleasant time for conversation for the entire family. Don’t take it personally if one of your children turns up his or her nose at your home cooking.
• Keep serving sizes small or let your children serve themselves. And don’t insist that your children clean their plates. (It’ll be to their advantage as adults to stop eating when they’re full!)
• Make a variety of nutritious foods available at each meal or snack time. Some items on the menu can be new, but serve at least one healthy, familiar dish too.
• While you might occasionally ask your children what they would like for dinner, don’t become a short-order cook. If they don’t like what’s for dinner and choose not to eat, they won’t starve before the next meal. (Of course, be alert to possible eating disorders, and consult a physician if you have concerns.)
• Let your children help with food preparation.
• Teach your children about good nutrition and healthy lifestyles. Talk about how God created us and how He wants us to take care of our bodies. Talk about the different types of foods God has given us so we can be healthy, strong and energetic.
• Be patient and don’t worry about it. (For encouragement in this, read Todd Carey’s blog “How Parental Patience Pays Off: And Then One Day, It Happened!”)  
• Keep it in perspective. Many dislikes will be outgrown. But most adults also have foods that they don’t care for. Much of it is simply a matter of taste!

Becky’s daughters both went through stages of being picky eaters. Her oldest now enjoys trying ethnic recipes, and her youngest is a dietetics major.

See more blog posts by Becky Bennett:

• The Power of Positive Expectations and Encouragement
• Read to Me!
• Teach Little Kids About Money
• Letting Go as They Fly the Coop!