Put the Baby Down!

We want to protect our children, but in the long run, the best way to do that is to teach them how to get back up after a fall.

A younger woman walked into church, obviously burdened by carrying a squirming toddler.

An older woman inquired, “Why are you carrying that child?”

The younger replied, “Every time I put him down, he falls down. He has trouble learning to walk!”

The older replied, “Put that baby down! How is he going to learn to stand up if you don’t let him fall down?”

As parents, we want to protect our children. We want to shield them from injuries, both physical and psychological. We want to spread our wings about them and shield them until they are able to soar successfully into the future.

The world is a scary place. There is “stranger danger,” identity theft, gang wars, famine, tornadoes. … There is much to fear for our own lives, let alone for those of our innocent and precious children. So how do we arm them in a balanced way for the future—both in this world and in the world to come?

There’s danger in the woods

I remember an incident that occurred many years ago. There was a notice sent to all parents in our subdivision that a man had been seen exposing himself to children in a wooded area between the neighboring school and our home.

I gathered together our daughters, ages 4 and 6, and gave them the whole lecture on not taking candy from strangers and the dangers involved. As a result, one of my daughters ran into her room and scurried under her bed.

The other one told me, calmly and confidently, that she could get that candy away from anybody and run away before he could catch her.

I said, “Okay. Let’s try that.”

After several unsuccessful attempts, she sat down thoughtfully. “I just need more practice,” she stated.

Two daughters, two years apart, with totally different reactions to a scary scenario.

No hothouse tomatoes

Have you ever eaten a tomato grown in a hothouse? Although they look a lot like tomatoes, they don’t really taste like tomatoes. They are weak in texture, insipid in flavor and, when compared to tomatoes ripened on the vine, they are a very poor substitute. There is something about braving the elements that matures tomatoes. The same can be said about people.

In John 17:15, Jesus Christ prayed to His Father just before His death: “I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.”

Because God allows us to live in a world that is decaying morally, spiritually and even physically, there must be something that we should be developing while here. He has not provided us with a safe place where we can hide and be shielded and protected from the wiles of a society gone astray. He does not always keep us from pain and hurt.

When you engage in any sort of physical exercise, your body is strengthened by the “healing” that your muscles go through after the exercise is stopped. When you break a bone, the healing process that it goes through once it is set back in place ensures the bone grows back stronger than before at the point of the break.

What we exercise by resisting the pulls and temptations of this world leads to a strengthening of character and resolve that enables us to become closer to God and better Christians. And when we make mistakes, we can learn from them and develop a stronger and more resolute desire not to make the same mistake again.

So what about our children? What can we do to help them confidently move forward, without being overprotective?

Let them go and let them grow

How can we teach our children to live, grow and thrive in this physical world?

• Don’t allow them the luxury of blaming others for their faults or failures.
• When they fall off the bicycle, help them get back on and learn to ride.
• When they don’t win a contest or aren’t chosen for a particular team, let them understand why and work toward sharpening their skills.
• Let them learn to recover from failure without being bailed out by you.
• Let them learn to accept the blame and the consequences from their actions and teach them how to move on.
• Teach them that they will fall down many times in their lives, but they will have God, and you, to help them stand back up and move forward.

Our children will become adults who will venture out into the world around them and have their own lives. We want them to become strong, successful men and women who can cope in a godly manner with what comes their way. To do this, we have to put the babies down and let them learn to walk. If they don’t learn how to fall, they won’t learn how to stand back up.

Bonnie Greider, wife of Larry Greider, is a mother of four and grandmother of six. She also writes proposals for RCI Recruitment Services.