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Written by Larry Greider
Life has many challenges, and no one is good at everything he or she tries, especially the first time. Many times what our children need is a cheerleader, not a critic!
Having raised four very different children who are now married with children of their own, I have been asked what parents can do to help their children succeed in life. If there is a one-word answer, it would be encouragement.
Of course, there is much more to being a parent, but the mental and spiritual environment parents create can go a long way to support, comfort and encourage their children.
“You can do it!”
Watching one of our baby grandsons stand by himself for the first time a few weeks ago, it was evident there was no lack of cheerleaders in our midst. “You can do it!” “Good boy!” “That’s the way!”
This might all sound silly to an outsider, since everyone eventually takes that first step, but I have to wonder how much the encouraging words, squeals of delight and congratulatory hugs and smiles do to motivate a young mind.
As we grow older, the need for encouragement doesn’t diminish; perhaps it might even be more important when trials and unexpected challenges come upon us.
Encouraging words from the Bible
The Bible has much to say about our words, showing that they do have an impact on others:
- “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21).
- “The mouth of the righteous is a well of life” (Proverbs 10:11).
- “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification [building up], that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).
Romans 15:5 shows that God is an encourager, “May the God of steadfastness and encouragement [paraklēsis] grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus” (Revised Standard Version).
The Greek word parakaleo is the root word for “encouragement” above. The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia says: “The New Testament word is variously translated, as ‘comfort,’ ‘exhort,’ ‘beseech,’ the exact translation to be determined by the context. Etymologically, it is ‘to call alongside of,’ i.e. to summon for assistance. To comfort is to cheer and encourage.”
Following God’s example of encouragement
My wife and I were able to visit another of our children who lives thousands of miles away. The oldest grandchild, age 10, was playing baseball on his school team. Max is short for his age (or there are some very big 10-year-olds these days), getting on base was his obsession but striking out was typical. Our cheers were for the home team, and it mattered little to us who won as long as everyone was having fun and doing his part.
Sadly, some parents can be very cruel to their children and expect them to be the next Albert Pujols. How frustrating to not get a hit and then be told you are stupid or uncoordinated. It really isn’t as much about winning or losing as how you play the game.
Those words have an impact—for bad or for good.
The power of the tongue—huge!
Coarse and filthy language is not only inappropriate, it also changes the mood and attitudes of those subjected to it. Uplifting, encouraging words can do the same but in a positive way.
It doesn’t cost anything or take any more effort to say something kind, thoughtful and positive to encourage someone. I can’t think of a better place to develop this skill than in the home.
Parents need to be many things during the stages of their child’s development: cheerleaders, referees, counselors, friends and teachers. But some of the most important parenting skills are to encourage and comfort.
My wife and I look forward to following the development of our grandchildren and know they will have many challenges ahead of them. We want to do our part by offering support and love and words of comfort and encouragement along the way.
Larry Greider is a church pastor in northern Florida and proud grandfather of six grandkids.
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