Truthfulness: A Key Parenting Tool

Children hear enough lies. They need the truth from their parents. We need to help them build a firm foundation of truth in their lives to guard against the attacks of skepticism, atheism and distraction.

As a parent, I recognize the responsibility to always tell my children the truth.

I grew up engaged in the common customs of Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy, later to learn that I’d been fooled.

When questioned, my parents’ denials were shallow and almost tongue-in-cheek, which made me, even as a young child, wonder what else I believed that was really a lie.

What about Jesus Christ? If we lie to our kids about Santa Claus, will they wonder about Jesus Christ too? Especially in a postmodern world that considers Christianity and the Bible no more than fairy tales.

As parents, how can we pass on our most precious understanding of God’s truth and His merciful and just plan for mankind to our own families? How can we help our children build a firm foundation of truth?

Combating skepticism and distractions with truth

A recent report showed that 75 percent of Christian youth stop attending church after high school. Intellectual skepticism is one of the major reasons they walk away. If they attend college, they are likely to find more and more anti-Christian sentiments. College professors are five times more likely to identify themselves as atheists than the general public, according to Dr. Frank Turek.

There are many pulls of the world that distract and tempt our children to ignore God’s way of life. But if we teach our children to value truth, will they not more readily treasure what defines our Christian calling? Can we pass on to our children the encouraging truths that all humanity will have a fair chance to know God and His way and ultimately be given the gift of eternal life?

Children often recognize what “rings true” and are wary of concepts that are a based on lies.

Today’s trends

We want our children to anticipate the return of Christ with His amazing plan for mankind. However, societal trends are working against us. Surveys show many teens and young adults are pulling away from church and religion. The headline of an article by Cathy Lynn Grossman said: “Young Adults Aren’t Sticking With Church; 70% of Surveyed Protestants Stopped Attending by Age 23” (USA Today, March 19, 2011).

The article continues:

“Seven in 10 Protestants ages 18 to 30—both evangelical and mainline—who went to church regularly in high school said they quit attending by age 23, according to the survey by LifeWay Research. And 34% of those said they had not returned, even sporadically, by age 30. That means about one in four Protestant young people have left the church. …

“Just over half (51%) of Protestant young people surveyed (both the church dropouts and those who stayed on in church after age 22) saw church members as ‘caring’ or had other positive descriptions, such as ‘welcoming’ (48%) or ‘authentic’ (42%). …

“Dropouts were more than twice as likely than those who continued attending church to describe church members as judgmental (51% for dropouts, 24% for those who stayed), hypocritical (44% vs. 20%) or insincere (41% vs. 19%).

“The news was not all bad: 35% of dropouts said they had resumed attending church regularly by age 30. An additional 30% attended sporadically. Twenty-eight percent said ‘God was calling me to return to the church.’”

Getting from “no” truth to “know” truth

As parents, practicing truthfulness with our children can make a profound difference in how they see the church. If there is a consistent pattern of honesty and willingness to admit errors, would this not predispose our children to want to know and more easily accept what is true and hold on to it?

The Scriptures warn that honesty isn’t very popular among humans. “Hear the word of the LORD, you children of Israel, for the LORD brings a charge against the inhabitants of the land: ‘There is no truth or mercy or knowledge of God in the land’” (Hosea 4:1).

Os Guinness writes, “One word of truth outweighs the entire world? Truth prevails for those who live in truth? A public hunger to hear the truth? Hardly—or at least not here and now. ‘The truth shall set you free’ may be the most popular university motto across the Western world, but while the text still adorns the walls, the truth no longer animates the minds” (Time for Truth: Living Free in a World of Lies, Hype and Spin, 2000, p. 11).

When Christ said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free,” those with Him answered, “We are Abraham’s descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can You say, ‘You will be made free’?” (John 8:32-33). After this discussion, they tried to kill Christ (verse 59)! They weren’t interested in truth. And most people really aren’t interested in it today either.

But the Bible reveals a different way. It shows what truth is and is filled with statements about truth. Christ said, “Your word is truth” (John 17:17). Studying God’s Word, the Bible, is the best way to not only learn God’s truth, but to be able to share it with our children.

Tips for teaching appreciation of truth

How can we help our children grow to appreciate the truth?

• Always tell them the truth. Always.
• Teach them why and how dishonesty hurts them, their family, their country, humanity.
• Help them learn to differentiate between a lie and the truth.
• When you are wrong, admit it willingly and accept the consequences.
• When you don’t know something, be willing to say so. Don’t make up an answer.
• Reward honesty.

The Church of God should resonate with truth! Truthfulness can be a most effective parenting tool.

Larry Greider is a church pastor in northern Florida and proud grandfather of six grandkids.

Related resources:

• Levels of Learning: Growing in God's Truth
• Your Word Is Truth