Accepting Average? Paralyzed by Perfectionism?

Throughout our lifetime we hear the words average and perfect used in many contexts. Depending upon your background and occupation, you may have different reactions to these words.

Several years ago an elder gave a sermon on the word average. Yes, a whole sermon about average.

He made a statement that I have never forgotten: “If you are average, you are the worst of the best, or the best of the worst.” Uh-oh! Does that ever change my perspective on the word.

Everyday application

As a teacher, I often have conferences with parents who are concerned about their children’s grades. The third grade is where learning changes dramatically. Prior to third grade, students are learning to read; but from the third grade on, they are reading to learn. It is not uncommon for students to earn their first B on their report card in third grade. Often the parents are more upset than the students.

Some conferences are concerning Cs—an average grade. At times we let parents know that their children are working to the best of their ability. However, sometimes a student is simply satisfied with this passing grade and not willing to push himself or herself.

What about us? As we’ve grown through the teen and young adult years, have we become satisfied with just being average? Have our goals become tarnished, and have we lowered the bar for ourselves?

Why does this happen? Do we have any control on this process?

Average vs. perfection

Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.” Sounds like high expectations to me.

God is consistent, always doing what is right in every circumstance. Oh, how I wish I could do that for just one day. I envy His consistency. He has set His sights high, and He expects us to become perfect. Matthew 5:48 says: “Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” What? Perfect? That’s impossible!

In Matthew 19:26 Jesus tells us that if we depend on our own efforts to put us into the Kingdom of God, that is impossible. However, with God all things are possible.

So, we see that with our own efforts it is impossible to reach our ultimate goal; but as we become more familiar with God’s Word, the Bible, we see that He and His Son laid out a plan from the very beginning to insure that all who want to be a part of His family can reach completeness and spiritual maturity—perfection. In fact, the word that Jesus used for “perfect” means exactly that—complete, mature, capable of accomplishing what needs to be accomplished. That is not average.

Pitfalls of perfectionism

In a workshop I took last summer, the presenter said that perfectionists avoid doing some tasks because they fear not doing them perfectly. Well, guess what? That’s not going to get the job done. God made us human so that when we make mistakes, we can learn from them.

Another pastor years ago gave a sermon about making decisions—good ones. He said that ultimately the worst decision anyone could make is not making a decision at all—doing absolutely nothing. We can’t let perfectionist tendencies keep us from pursuing the path to real perfection.

Reality

Infants do not live by the same rules adults live by. They are not afraid to make mistakes. They repeatedly fall when trying to walk but get up and try it again. The same can be said for children learning to ride a bike or develop some other skill. Perhaps that is part of what Jesus had in mind when He said we should become as little children (Matthew 18:3).

Why do we as adults shut down and lower our expectations?

As we get older, we suddenly become aware of all the people around us, looking at us, making observations, judging us. We become self-conscious. We worry about what others will think if we make a mistake. We do not want to look bad. And bad means silly, uninformed, dumb, stupid or ignorant.

Clearly, we see that is not God’s intent for us. So, raise the bar, venture out. If you make a mistake, learn from it and go on! Don’t settle for average—become perfect with God’s help.

For more inspiration to go beyond average, check out our blogs “I’m Bored and No One Can Hang Out” and “How Healthy Is Your Soil?”

Susan Scott Smith is a third grade teacher and a member of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in Texas.