Are You Sapping the Life Out of Your Marriage?

Nagging—it’s something many wives tend to do. Why is nagging hurtful to a marriage, and what does the Bible say about it?

My husband and I celebrated 53 years of marriage in June of this year, and I am so thankful for the wonderful man that God has blessed me with! But even though I believe  my husband is a wonderful man and that we have a good marriage, I know that no human being is perfect. I know I am not!

Sometimes I have to remind myself not to correct him, because it is so easy to find fault and nag. But there is a better way to react to a situation than nagging.

Do we nag?

As women, we can tend to want to “mother” our husbands, and that sometimes means we nag at them.

Most people think that nagging is constantly trying to get your spouse to do something. But what does the word really mean? According to Dictionary.com, nagging means to annoy by persistent faultfinding, complaining or making demands. Thesaurus.com says nag can also mean to pester, harass, irritate, badger, scold, bug or be on the back of someone. I think you get the point. We have all heard: “He (or she) drives me up the wall!”

But let’s take the word and apply it to ourselves. How many of us do these things to the ones we love the most? We often overhear this dynamic between couples. And, to be honest, it usually comes from the female gender. In a store not too long ago, I witnessed a woman berating her husband in front of everyone! 

Finding fault is one of the easiest things to do and the hardest thing to overcome! It is something we have to stop and think about in order to overcome the habit. We need to ask ourselves: How would I feel if my husband corrected, scolded or put me down every time I made a mistake? Probably like a child and incapable, right?

Don’t sap the life out of him

Consider this scenario: Your husband forgets to pick up something you asked him to get for dinner. What is your reaction—one of irritation or one of understanding and forgiveness? Do you praise him and tell him, “That’s okay, honey. I’ll be creative tonight. Your day was probably full, and you had too much on your mind.”

Do you kiss him and let him know that you love and respect him? Or do you yell, “What are we going to do now for dinner? Can’t you ever remember to do what I ask you to do?”

That kind of response on a regular basis will sap the life out of him!

No man wants to live with a nagging woman

Consider what the Bible says about this negative trait that females can tend to have:

• “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Proverbs 21:9).
• “A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike” (Proverbs 27:15).

If we have this tendency, it is a characteristic we need to strive to overcome so we can be a part of the bride of Jesus Christ. Christ will not put up with a nagging wife!