Change of Heart: Repentance or Sorry I Got Caught?

In dealing with my own child and the students in my classroom, I have encountered scenarios very similar to what happened at the threshold of the Promised Land.

Consider these scenarios:

I ask my son to clean his room. He replies with a sour face, “Aw, Mom!” So I counter, “Then take out the garbage and wash the cans.” The sour face turns to a look of utter devastation. “Okay! I’ll clean my room,” he says regretfully. He chooses what he considers the lesser of the two evils.

A student dawdles with an assignment after being cautioned that unfinished assignments could be completed during recess. When the students line up for recess and the teacher reminds this student to do the assignment, he or she regrets not being able to enjoy recess.

A child is caught red-handed calling another child a bad name. When it comes down to saying “I’m sorry,” is the child really sorry for his or her actions? Or just sorry for being caught?

Reality

Life lessons, choices and consequences can sometimes be hard to swallow.

For some people, saying “I’m sorry” is a monumental feat. For others it is an overused, meaningless phrase that just nets them some time.

I thought about this when reading in Numbers 14 about the time Israel first encountered the land of Canaan through the reports of the 12 spies.

• Israel bought the story of the 10 faithless spies hook, line and sinker. They again longed for the good old days. They blamed Moses and Aaron and demanded a new leader to take them back to Egypt.
• Moses, Aaron, Joshua and Caleb pleaded with the people to trust God and go forward. But the Israelites wanted to stone them.
• God showed His presence and told Moses He would destroy the nation and raise up another through Moses.
• Moses entreated God to consider how that would play out to the nations around. He asked God to pardon Israel, punish the guilty and continue with His plan.
• God did pardon and lay out a punishment that fit the crime. The nation would wander for 40 years in the desert. All the adults (20 years and up) would die in the wilderness, never entering the Promised Land. Their children (whom they used as one excuse not to enter the land) would indeed survive the 40 years and possess the land.
• Moses laid out the punishment to the people and they mourned. The 10 spies, who brought the evil report, died of a plague.
• The Israelites then had a change of heart, like the scenarios I mentioned at the beginning of this post. After a good night’s sleep they went up to the mountain, announced they had sinned and were now willing to go into the Promised Land after all.
• Moses warned them not to go, explaining that God would not be with them. But they were self-willed and went anyway. The people of the land came down and did exactly what the faithless spies had predicted (see “Spies (and Giants) in the Land of Canaan”).

Were the Israelites sincere in their repentance? They were sorry about the punishment, but they didn’t decide to stop disobeying God. Instead of submitting to the punishment or even asking God to reconsider, they once again chose to disobey God.

As I reflect on this, I seek to understand the difference between those who simply express the sorrow of having been caught and those who sincerely repent.

The difference

I think about the example of David’s sincere repentance. When David was confronted with his sin, he came to realize the enormity of his sin and he took responsibility. He was not just sorry that he got caught. He could feel the pain he caused to the entire nation before their enemies and even more he knew that he had sinned against God.

Today most people justify their actions and refuse to take responsibility for them and the accompanying consequences. This self-justification then becomes a habit.

I, like David, must realize the enormity of my sins. And I must learn a very important lesson of real, sincere, true repentance—to seek to always obey God and not repeat the sin. David learned this. Israel didn’t.

Susan Scott Smith is a third-grade teacher and a member of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in Texas.