Did I Fail to Say a Good Word Today?

Sometimes what we say can brighten someone’s day. But what about the times I’ve neglected the good words I should have said?

It was so good to be almost home! It had been a long trip with several flights, and I was looking forward to seeing my husband and our chocolate Labrador, Roxie, again.

A taxi had been prearranged for me, and I almost ran to the taxi booth to let them know I had arrived. A gentleman in the booth said, “I will have it here for you in just moments.” The “moments” part sounded so good to hear at that stage, and I smiled and thanked him—it seemed the normal thing to do.

But as I started to I walk away, he said, “You know, that is the first smile I have had all day, and you have been the only one to say thank you.”

Had I cheated others?

While sitting in the cab on the way home, I started to think about what he had said. I wondered about my whole day and the previous few days and how many people I probably hadn’t thanked for their service, especially when their service was excellent.

Remembering times when someone did something nice for me—but when in return I just thought how nice it was and did not express it to them—put me on a guilt trip.

It reminded me of what King Solomon wrote: “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act” (Proverbs 3:27, New International Version).

Why do I fail?

So I ask myself, why do I withhold encouragement when I know it gives strength to others? Many times I think of saying a good word, but I get too busy and distracted. I find I have moved on to something else and omitted saying anything. And so, sadly, the moment passes, and it seems hard to recapture later.

Other times I may not say anything because I’m not sure whether my words will be appreciated.

“Don’t give up now”

This was brought home to me when I was organizing a three-day equestrian coach’s exam. There was one lady who was an excellent rider; in fact, she had even been a reserve for the Olympic dressage team. But there are many aspects to these coach exams; and though she was a superb rider, she failed.

She was bitterly disappointed and somewhat angry with the coaching system. I knew where her trouble was and how she could easily pass if she tried again. So I bought her the most beautiful card I could find, but then really hesitated to send it. I knew she was angry and upset with everyone who was part of her exam, including me.

Eventually I did send the card, but I was certain it would not be well received. I wrote something like, “Don’t give up now! We’ll help you. I know you can pass next time.”

As the weeks went by with no reply, I was now certain the card had not been well-received. I imagined her tearing it up into tiny pieces and stomping on them with her long black riding boots. I imagined these little pieces being buried deep in the mud.

The rest of the story

About two months later a complete stranger came up to me at a horse show and asked if she could buy me a coffee. Over a cup, she explained that she knew I had sent a card to her best friend. She wanted to tell me how much it had helped her friend.

She explained that, although her friend was not at all a sentimental type, she had, in fact, carried that card around with her in her handbag for weeks.

The superb rider did later come back into the coaching system, took the exam the following year and passed. I hoped I had contributed to her success in some small way. To think that at the time I almost didn’t send the card at all!

One of my favorite scriptures from Hebrews fits into all this too. It says we should be encouraging one another, and all the more as we see the day of Christ’s return approaching (Hebrews 10:25).

So I am trying harder these days (though I fail often) to not let a good thought of praise for someone pass me by. When I have a doubt about whether someone needs or wants it, I try to take the action the Nike motto suggests: “Just do it.”

So follow that motto, and you won’t regret it. And the other person may be greatly encouraged by your words!

For more about communication, see the “Communication” section on the LifeHopeandTruth.com website.

Lynn Marshall is an equestrian coach for Equine Canada. She and her husband, Graemme, serve the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in the Toronto, Ontario, area.