Ding! Ding! Navigating the Noise of Notifications

Scriptural insights can help us navigate the modern demands of digital communication. In essence, we must show respect and protect ourselves. 

Ding! Text: “Do you want to meet for coffee this week?”

Ding! Email: “Meeting invite: Please respond by …”

Ding! Group text: “Looking for volunteers for …”

Ding! Messenger: “Happy Sabbath!”

Ding! Husband: “Just checking in … how far away are you?”

One reason I keep my smartphone silent and my email notifications turned off is that messages, requests and follow-up threads keep coming and coming. If I’m not careful, they can dominate all of my time. 

At times, it’s overwhelming and those pesky notifications (Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!) can make me feel like the proverbial dog who is constantly distracted and placed on high alert by the sight of a squirrel!

Let’s face it. Notifications are like dirty dishes. Even when we address them, they keep piling up. 

Many time management gurus will tout the benefits of turning off notifications to help us focus and eliminate distractions. However, it’s a balancing act. If we turn off all notifications, we risk being rude to our friends and nonresponsive to time-sensitive needs. If we leave those notifications on, we risk running on that never-ending hamster wheel, caught between the urgent and nonurgent, the important and unimportant. 

It can be exhausting!

I’ve often wondered if the Bible provides a social skill set to help us navigate the constant demands of digital communication. After much internal contemplation, discussions with my husband and reading scriptures, I realized the answer was a resounding yes. 

It boils down to what the apostle Paul wrote to the congregation in Philippi in Philippians 2:4: “C’mon, guys, don’t be so self-absorbed.” That’s a paraphrase, of course. In the New King James Version it reads: “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” But the point is the same.

One way to counteract self-absorption is to become a first responder.

What does it mean to be a first responder?

Technically, a first responder is someone trained to respond quickly and show up first during an emergency. First responders include law enforcement personnel, medical personnel, lifeguards, firefighters and utility workers. 

First responders jump in and provide help when urgently needed. Trained and alert, they provide care and assistance to those in emergencies. Who doesn’t love and appreciate a first responder’s focus on the needs of others?

I got to thinking about all of those Ding! Ding! Ding! requests and mused at why I felt frustrated and overwhelmed. These are my friends! Why was I putting off responding to their text messages?

And then, I got honest with myself. My lack of timely response was not very loving. Someone checking in with me took time out of their busy day to reach out because they care about me. Or they needed an answer from me to move forward with something. 

I needed to do better. I needed to train myself to be more alert and provide help, care and assistance when needed.

Show respect: Know when to respond promptly

Here’s another confession: I wasn’t always a slow responder. Somehow, over time and with the demands of life, I convinced myself that I was too busy. “I’ll respond later,” was my constant internal dialogue.

Yet, one day, I realized that my husband (as busy as he is) always takes the time to respond quickly. It is ingrained in him—so much so that I usually tell people, “If you can’t get ahold of me, text my husband. His phone is always on.” We chatted about his prompt response habit, and he explained why he made it a priority: “Because if it’s important, people need a response.”

It is as simple as that. 

It’s about showing respect and following the Golden Rule laid down by Jesus Christ in Matthew 7:12: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (English Standard Version). Communication is ultimately a way of showing love and respect to others.

Here are a few examples of instances that need a prompt reply (along with thoughts on how to respond):

• When an organizer seeks your feedback or asks you to volunteer for something. (A simple no is as vital as a yes.)
• When timely arrangements need to be made.
• When a friend checks in, no matter how insignificant the comment seems.
• When a text is too long to process. (Acknowledge that you received it and let the sender know when you will be able to respond more thoroughly.)
• Remember that please and thank you go a long way when asking or responding, since texting can seem impersonal. 

Protect yourself: Know when to ease off

Lest you think I am encouraging you to be an open window in the heat of summer—inviting in every bug, gnat, mosquito and creepy thing—please know, there is a time to protect yourself and put up a screen for protection.

Because of the ease of texting, voice-to-text and assisted intelligence that suggests what words to write, it’s becoming normal to have our messages or inboxes explode with messages. I once had a coworker that I teased about her “staccato,” rapid-fire text messages. So, we also need to learn to be mindful of other people’s time. 

And it is okay, even necessary, to put your phone aside to deal with other priorities, like prayer and Bible study, church services, work, driving, family meals, family time—you get the idea. (See “Christian Priorities: Putting God First” and “A Case for Social [Media] Distancing.”)

Here are a few other examples to help you evaluate when to ease off and protect yourself.

• When conversations are filled with gossip and bad-mouthing other people.
• When you realize that the time you spend digitally with another person is out of balance and is distracting you from personal or spiritual priorities.
• When a person constantly talks about himself or herself.
• When conversations are filled with foul language or vulgarity.

The Bible offers solid advice about the company we keep. I like how the King James Bible translates 1 Corinthians 15:33: “Be not deceived; evil communications corrupt good manners.” The digital company we keep is just as important as the physical company we keep.

On the flip side, remember that we are to be loving and kind when dealing with others. As much as possible and within our control, we are to “live peaceably” with all people (Romans 12:18).

Now what?

This is a tricky subject because we live in an age with numerous communication platforms. Gone are the days of rotary phones and sending letters! But one thing still rings true: Communication skills are often the most important social skills we can develop.  

To improve your communication skills, check out the following articles from LifeHopeandTruth.com:

What Does the Bible Say About Narcissism?

Understanding and Preventing Gossip

Toxic Friendships

Surround Yourself With Good People