Do Manners Matter?

How do you apply the rules of etiquette in the age of instant communication and social media? Do manners still matter?

With all of the modern communication devices around us today in the form of iPads, iPhones, laptops, cell phones and so on, have the rules of good manners changed—or been neglected?

What do we do when we are visiting with someone and get a call on our cell phone? Do we excuse ourselves and tell the caller we are busy at the moment and will get back with him or her? Or do we just answer the phone, leaving the person we were talking with standing or sitting there in silence?

What about our children? What they see us do sets the standard for what they think is acceptable. Parents are children’s first and best mentors, and actions speak louder than words.

iPolite?

We experienced a somewhat sad and annoying situation one time during church services. While we were sitting in our seats listening to the speaker and taking notes, two teenagers with backpacks filed in front of us to their seats right next to me. As soon as they sat down, out came an iPhone or equivalent. One just sat there while the other one was messing with his phone, either texting or playing a game. A few minutes later, up they rose and filed back out again.

They never whispered an “excuse us, please” or “sorry to bother you.” This up and down and filing past us went on several times during the service!

Too often today’s children have access to high technology but haven’t been taught the balance to know how to use it properly. If they didn’t have their tech items in their pockets or hands at all times, many—teens and adults—would feel lost! But it doesn’t matter how much technology they have access to, if they aren’t taught manners, then their social skills and even their character will be lacking.

A time and a place for technology

Children (and adults for that matter) need to realize there is a time and place for technology. It seems social media is what it is all about today, sometimes to the detriment of those we are physically with. Does it really make sense to text or talk to someone who isn’t there, all the while neglecting the person there beside us? They are left waiting for us to finish.

Courtesy and politeness teach us to be considerate of everyone, especially the people we are with. When our cell phone rings while we’re with someone else, we should say “excuse me” to the person we are visiting with and then:

• Let the call go to voice mail.
• Or, if we need to take it, answer the call and tell the person on the other end that we will get back to them later.
• Or, if it is urgent or important, explain to the person we are with that we must take the call.

These tips can help us not be rude to the one we are with at that moment.

Showing love

Technology is all around us, and we are all connected to it in some way. Using good manners with that technology matters because it has to do with showing love to others. As Jesus Christ said in John 13:34, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

For more on manners and avoiding rudeness, see the article “How Rude!” on the Life, Hope & Truth website.

Judy and her husband of 50 years, Bill, live in East Bernstadt, Kentucky, and serve brethren of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in London, Kentucky; Knoxville, Tennessee; and Asheville, North Carolina.