Facing My Husband’s Death: Learning to “Walk by Faith, Not by Sight”

God is driving home this scripture through tremendous loss—and great hope.

Walking by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) became very real to our family this year. We were enjoying time as a family, laughing and grateful to be together. It had been a rough year, but there was still much to be thankful for. We were spending some quality time away from the regular pace of our life. We were so excited to have this time to build more memories.

Emergency!

The situation that would follow changed our lives forever. We were enjoying each other that evening, grateful for all of God’s blessings to our family. But within 15 minutes, our happy little world was abruptly interrupted. My husband’s face turned ashen and his lips turned blue. We knew we had a true emergency on our hands. The sudden change was hard to comprehend.

I will not describe the specific events to follow, except that two hours later we got the most unexpected news. My beloved husband of almost 25 years, my children’s loving father, was dead. No warning. Just gone. My thoughts raced as I tried to process the words from the doctor.

What? Is this really happening to us? This happens to other people, but not us!

Yet in that short time we suddenly joined the category of the “fatherless and widow.”

Comfort and commitments

Our minister and his wife were with us that night, which was such a comfort and blessing. They stayed with us as we tried to wrap our minds around what just happened

That night the children and I made a pact that, no matter what, we would not let this make us bitter and turn away from God. We were determined even more that we would be in God’s Kingdom to be with my husband again.

“I don’t know how to do this”

One of the things that kept going through my mind was, “I don’t know how to do this.” I don’t know how to deal with the incredible grief and loss of my best friend! I don’t know how to raise a 13-year-old boy without his father! I don’t know how to comfort a teenage daughter who adored her beloved Papa. I cried out to God like never before and began really learning what it meant to walk by faith and not by sight.

God immediately put others in our path who were able to relate to us. People who had experienced their own losses encouraged us. God was answering and giving us what we needed to walk our new road. We were surrounded by family. People we had never met before began comforting us and helping bear our burdens.

“All things work together for good”

Romans 8:28 has always been my favorite scripture: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” If ever there was a time when I needed to believe it, it was now.

How could something so horrible be God’s will? Yet that scripture has carried me through so many trials. We needed to believe that God would work everything out.

A friend sent me this inspiring quote by Washington Irving: “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief … and unspeakable love.”

“Your kingdom come”

My husband will be dearly missed. He was a strong Christian man who yearned for the sure hope of God’s Kingdom. He set a right and proper foundation for our family. He leaves a legacy of love to everyone he touched. He awaits God’s promised resurrection like so many who have gone before him.

So those of us here must continue to walk by faith and not by sight, fulfilling the mission and work God has for us to do. We pray fervently “Your kingdom come” as we await the time we will see my husband again!

For more about the hope of the resurrection and the Kingdom of God, see:

• The Mystery of the Kingdom
• How Many Resurrections Are There?

Lori Bryant attends the Joplin, Missouri, congregation of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, with her wonderful children Kayla and Andrew.