Like a Tree

A pleasant conversation about the trees of our childhood sparked thoughts of even greater things God is growing.

“There was a catalpa tree in our yard. We used to sword fight with the pods, and I made doll clothes out of the blossoms. And we had a box elder tree. …”

My friend and I reminisced about our childhood homes in Oklahoma and Indiana. When she talked about the trees that grew in her yard in Oklahoma, I pictured the box elder and the catalpa trees in southern Indiana. It was pleasant to remember making decorations out of catalpa blossoms. Although we didn’t do any sword fighting with the pods, by summer’s end there was a mess of them to rake up.

How unusual was it for two church ladies who grew up hundreds of miles apart to have the same trees in their yards with the same memories?

I checked out the ranges of catalpas and box elders in a field guide, and both trees are common in Oklahoma and Indiana. The catalpa is primarily a tropical tree, but its northern variants grow in many temperate areas. Years ago catalpas were planted as decorative trees, and children everywhere played with the leaves, pods and flowers.

The box elder is also a common tree and ranges from Canada to Guatemala. Because they are fast-growing, pioneers planted box elders for windbreaks as they settled the Great Plains.

The trees of our conversation are gone now except for the box elder in Indiana. It stands in a truncated form holding up a birdbath. My father cut it down to stump size 30 years ago after lightning knocked out most of the top.

Two kinds of remembering

Our nostalgic conversation started me thinking about memories and two different kinds of “remembering.”

One kind of remembering is an effortless reminiscing, as my friend and I did in talking about trees. For me, such memories include angel food cake with strawberries on the Fourth of July, swinging out over the Blue River on a grapevine, writing my name on a box turtle’s back, stepping on the upturned tines of a rake to see if the handle would bonk my head.

These kinds of memories, both good and bad, don’t require a lot of effort to recollect.

The other kind of remembering we find in the Bible. It speaks about remembering for a purpose. This remembering requires effort and action.

The command to remember the Sabbath entails the action of keeping it holy (Exodus 20:8). The command to “lay up these words … in your heart” includes teaching them to children (Deuteronomy 11:18-19). The instruction for older women to be “teachers of good things” makes the point that older women should advise the younger (Titus 2:3-4).

Attaching a purpose to remembering moves it beyond a recitation of the past. It means remembering something valuable and fitting it to the present.

Remembering and mentoring

A purposeful sharing of our experiences with others requires some shaping and pruning because there is so much we could say. A good adviser has to take what she knows, consider who she’s speaking with and pass it on in a helpful way.

Studies show that an effective mentor focuses on the person foremost. She listens, demonstrates that she understands the issue and takes a friendly approach. She is confident, logical and doesn’t impose a solution.

Mentoring seems to work best when two people have a comfortable relationship. When the more experienced woman gives advice without pressure and without a critical spirit, the younger woman seeking help is more likely to act on it. Not surprisingly, mentoring doesn’t work if the adviser doesn’t really care or is illogical and hard-nosed.

It is important to establish rapport with someone you want to advise and then to share your information with humility.

Like a tree

Consider that God compares mature Christians with well-watered trees that bring forth fruit in season (Psalm 1:3). By avoiding the counsel of the ungodly and delighting instead in the Word of God, we can be a refreshing source of godly encouragement and help to the younger Christian women who seek it.

It’s the wonderful blessing of access to godly wisdom that makes all the difference in godly mentoring. Through God’s help, we can share things from our experience in a manner that’s helpful, fit and sound.

So, whether you are talking about trees or babies, share what you’ve learned in a caring, refreshing way—like a fruitful shade tree that will be long remembered.

Mary is the wife of Jack Hendren, pastor. They live in Corpus Christi, Texas, and take delight in being close to the ocean, stars, birds, fields and ranches.