Modesty Is Hardest

Written by Vivienne Villaescusa

Dressing modestly is a continual challenge for young women. What are the major principles we have to consider when choosing the clothes we wear?

Feeling discouraged in her shopping endeavors, her fingers shuffle through hangers on the rack, like a secretary searching through documents in a filing cabinet, wondering if what she was searching for even existed. Style preference alone can make shopping for clothes tricky for women, but with the added considerations of modest hemlines and necklines, proper tightness and overall coverage, finding a modest article of clothing can feel like a challenge.

The truth is, modesty is hard.

However, I am not talking about the struggle many girls feel when looking through clothing racks, though that is not an easy task either.

Modesty is hard because it directly relates to pride.

Why do women dress immodestly?

Every other day, it seems, female celebrities are making headlines for some act of immodesty. Kim Kardashian West unapologetically posts pictures of herself in lingerie using the hashtag #selfish to promote her new book. Her sister Kylie Jenner has similarly suggestive photos with millions of likes on her Instagram. Additionally, celebrities such as Keira Knightley are regarded as heroes for posing topless and supposedly bringing awareness about Photoshop and body image. News articles such as these are designed to spark controversy and generate attention—and it works.

It can be tempting for women to use their bodies as a tool for attention or power. Scroll through the average college or high school girl’s Instagram and Facebook selfies, and you will find all sorts of tips and tricks on how to objectify yourself in an attempt to gain attention.

But is that what God wants?

Notice 1 Peter 3:3-4: “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

It is hard to get to know the “hidden person of the heart” when women, like the celebrities previously mentioned, seem to be promoting only the outward person of the flesh.

Modesty comes down to three things:

Remembering our bodies are not our own.
Self-respect.
Respect for others.

1. Remember our bodies are not our own

The apostle Paul wrote, “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

God gave us our bodies as a gift that should be respected and treasured. One way we can do this is by giving consideration to how we clothe our bodies. We should dress modestly to give honor to the God who created us.

2. Self-respect

Modesty is realizing that your worth is not skin-deep. It goes far beyond. God doesn’t want us to attract attention just through our physical bodies. Instead, He wants the focus to be on our character! Godly women seek to emphasize the “incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:4). God created you with a value far greater than the physical frame the world sees.

3. Respect for others

Recently, I asked a male college-age friend why he thought modesty was important. What my Christian friend said shed a lot of light about the negative impact of immodesty.

He said: “Due to the sheer volume and accessibility of these themes and [provocative] images the world presents, it’s actually really challenging for me to face. I feel like I’m bombarded with it almost constantly, and it’s exhausting. Seeing girls in modest states of dress is almost comforting. Because it’s like a breath of fresh air. Like a relief; I don’t feel any pressure from it.”

He also said, “Girls fail to consider the impact seeing a girl undress[ed] has on a guy. When a guy sees a girl like that he can never unsee it. When I go to beach [Feast] sites and see all these [girls] in bikinis it really bothers me for that reason and because it’s like, ‘come on, you should know better.’”

The search to find modest clothes is difficult—though not impossible. But the challenge of purity and modesty of the heart is far more difficult. Modesty means dressing our lives with godly character, as well as appropriate clothing. When we search through clothing to find the right outfit, the real challenge is to make sure we have the right character and attitude to match.

For further insight on the topic of modesty, read: