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ROKU AppPlease: Is Etiquette Out-of-Date?
Written by Pam Rehm
What do good manners mean for a modern Christian?
A few months ago, I gave someone a small gift. The gift was really insignificant. However, it struck me that the person receiving the small item was not appreciative at all.
Now I know that we should not be easily offended, and I was not. But it did make me notice how many people fail to show what used to be called good manners.
But what do good manners mean for a Christian today? Some mothers teach their children to say “please” and “thank you,” but this is becoming more rare. It does not come naturally, and requires a lot of reinforcement in a world that seems to treat etiquette as outdated. Is it still important for Christians to have good manners? Are good manners more than just saying “please” and “thank you”? And does showing politeness mean being soft or weak?
People notice
Experience shows you can accomplish more when you show politeness and kindness to others. And Jesus Christ instructed us, “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise” (Luke 6:31). When you make every effort to show politeness and kindness to others, the positive results are amazing.
On the other hand, there are those who never say “please” and “thank you,” and it is still noticed by others. They are looked on as rude. You really do catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
So, politeness fulfills the Golden Rule, and it has good results. But where can we learn it in a world that seems geared to ingratitude and rudeness? If our mothers did not teach us to be kind, polite and courteous, it might be difficult to set the right example. But we can learn to have those qualities of Christ by looking at His example.
The fruit of God’s Spirit
Jesus Christ lived the perfect example through the power of the Holy Spirit. The apostle Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 as, “Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”
By applying the fruit of the Spirit, we can learn kindness, politeness and courtesy. Exhibiting these qualities does not mean that a person is weak. Moses was a meek man who was a strong leader and led the entire nation of Israel out of Egyptian captivity.
Having proper respect and good manners toward others does not cost very much. It only takes a conscious effort to esteem others better than ourselves. This life can be hard, and we are all in it together. As Paul says in Philippians 2:3-4, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” We all need each other.
In Luke 6:35, Christ adds that we should “love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.”
In other words, be kind and polite to each other, and yes, even to our enemies. As Proverbs 25:21-22 says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for so you will heap coals of fire on his head, and the LORD will reward you.”
Love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous
Kindness, politeness and courtesy are part of esteeming others better than ourselves. God commands us in the second great commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves. God wants us to be thankful for all things, no matter how great or how small. Being kind, polite and courteous are part of being grateful to God.
Peter expresses this thought best of all in 1 Peter 3:8: “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous.”
Pam Rehm is a member of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in the Little Rock, Arkansas, area.
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