Remembering the Plan of God

I have many memories, some painful and many joyous, tied into the festivals of the Bible. For me, these memories give additional depth to the meaning of God’s festivals.

This time of year holds many memories for me. There is the beautiful memory of our baptisms—my husband and I were baptized one month before the biblical festival of Passover in 1995.

There are the memories of the last 17 years of commemorating the New Testament Passover as the apostles and the New Testament Church did. Each year I examine myself, and I find that I have fallen far short and have sinned in many ways. I also find that I have improved in many ways and matured, though I still have so far to travel to full maturity as a Christian.

A deeper understanding of Passover

There is also the very painful memory of my brother’s untimely death at the age of 30 in the year 2000.

I remember that Passover, for that Passover and all of God’s festivals that year took on a new meaning, as death had touched me for the very first time. I now understood the anguish that I had witnessed on others’ faces. I learned the anguish of losing a loved one, and so I began a journey that year.

As I sat listening to the Passover service, as the sections were read concerning the brutality of Christ’s death, I cried. I understood, however dimly, the pain of watching a son being crucified. I had sat by my mother and watched the pain she was experiencing. I witnessed my father retreating into himself.

John 3:16—“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”—took on a deeper meaning for me.

A realization about priorities

As each of God’s holy days passed that year, I was healing from my brother’s death, but still mourning. Every holy day brought me closer to accepting his death.

Through the Feast of Unleavened Bread, I came to the realization that I may not have all the time in the world, or even the typical lifetime, to grow, to learn and (with the help of God’s Holy Spirit) to remove the sin from my life. I had been confronted with my own mortality by my brother’s death.

I now understood the priority stated in the Bible: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

I am not going to say that I changed overnight, but gradually from year to year I have improved.

Pentecost and another Comforter

About two months out from my brother’s death I came to the Feast of Pentecost. My brother’s death had become perhaps a distant memory to most people, but not to our family. The memory was still very fresh.

On Pentecost I was meditating on the scriptures describing the miraculous gift of the Holy Spirit. I was reminded that day, while listening to the church service, of the description given by Christ of the Holy Spirit. He said: “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever” (John 14:16, King James Version).

Holy days and hope

As each month passed, I cried less, remembered more and even smiled again. I concentrated my energies on my daughter (not quite a year old then) and my husband. Our daughter’s first Feast of Tabernacles was coming up. (My brother only got to hold her once, when she was just two months.)

The Feast of Trumpets, the Day of Atonement, the Feast of Tabernacles and the Last Great Day cannot be separated in my memories that year, for each of the holy days blended together with their meanings.

God is the Creator, and His holy days teach His plan, not only for those who are called in this lifetime, but for those who will be given an opportunity in the second resurrection. I believe my brother will be there. I hope to be given the opportunity to be there when he rises.

Someday there will be mourning no longer. It will be replaced by a time of such joy that words cannot describe it.

Memories and hope

So every year, as I prepare for the New Testament Passover, I think of those I have lost.

I think of those who have died in the faith and who will be raised as saints when Christ has established the Kingdom of God.

I think of those who have not yet had the opportunity to grow and understand God’s plan, like my two brothers. (Five years after my oldest brother died in an auto accident, my youngest brother’s life was ended in another auto accident.)

I meditate on the past year—the sins, the successes—and examine myself. I feel a deep gratitude that God gave His Son so that my sins can be forgiven as I repent of them.

Rachel Koenig is a member of the Buffalo, New York, congregation of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association. She and her husband, Stephan, are raising three children, Anne, Madi and Joe.

For more about the festivals of the Bible and their meanings and the hope of the resurrection, see:

• What Are the Meanings of Each of God’s Festivals?
• How Many Resurrections Are There?