Tell Me More

Written by Pam Myers

Social media is the dominant way people communicate today. Yet listening is vital for understanding and conveying support and encouragement.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and walked away feeling refreshed and encouraged from your time together?

Why is this?

What happened during the conversation that made it so positive and enlivening? Did the person promise you a million dollars, invite you to join him or her on a cruise or offer to buy you a new wardrobe? No, the person offered you something that was simple and didn’t cost a penny, but still enriched your life.

What is it? Tell me more!

Listening: the perfect example

The above paragraph speaks of a person who has learned the fine art of listening. “What? That’s it?” you might ask. “If I just listen, I can bring this kind of benefit to a person?”

Yes!

Why do we know this? Because God set us the perfect example of being a Listener. In fact, He listens all the time.

1 John 5:14-15: “If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”
Psalm 4:3: “But know that the LORD has set apart for Himself him who is godly; the LORD will hear when I call to Him.”
Jeremiah 29:12-13: “Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”

What does listening show others?

Listening shows we care about the other person and are interested in the conversation. For example, Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to esteem each other and look out for the interests of others.

Here are other examples of what listening shows us.

When we listen, we learn more about another person and can develop a deeper level of friendship. Proverbs 18:24 says, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
When we listen, we can learn new and valuable knowledge. Proverbs 27:9 says, “Oil and incense make the heart glad, and the sweetness of friends come from their advice” (Common English Bible Translation).
When we listen, we can show compassion and empathy if the other person is facing a trial. Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens.”
When we listen, we can rejoice if the other person shares good news. Proverbs 15:30 says, “A good report makes the bones healthy.”

How do we listen?

Listening is about more than just opening our ears and being attentive. Here are some tips for being a good listener:

Face the person who is talking. Look at him or her. Use facial expressions or a nod to show that you hear and are processing what he or she is saying.
Let the other person finish his or her story. It can be so tempting to interject our story, opinion or advice.
Put your phone down. It is tempting to look at our phone when the conversation seems uninteresting or boring or when we feel it doesn’t apply to us.

The fountain inside

American journalist Brenda Ueland (1891-1985) wrote about the art of listening in her short booklet Tell Me More: On the Fine Art of Listening. Using the analogy of a fountain, she explained that each of us has a “fountain inside us.” This fountain represents our imagination, creativity, dreams, intelligence and what makes us tick.

When someone takes the time to listen to us and says, “Tell me more” or “How so?” our inner fountain begins to spring, bubble and flow freely. This kind of conversation revitalizes, energizes and encourages us.

Not only do we walk away feeling a deeper connection to this person who listened to us, but we also feel refreshed and valued.

We may not be able to give our friends a bushel of money, take them on a cruise or buy them a new wardrobe. But through the art of listening, we can offer something even more valuable—deeper connections and a sense of being truly heard.

Listening—what a gift it is!

If you would like to learn more about how to cultivate the gift of listening, check out the following articles:

Photo credit:
Oleksandr Shchus/iStock via Getty Images