Things My Mama Taught Me

Can mothers really change the world? I think the things my mama taught me would go a long way toward promoting a more peaceful world.

It seemed fitting in this week preceding a national celebration of mothers and in this springtime that marks the 150th anniversary of the Civil War that I recently read Julia Ward Howe’s (1870) “Mother’s Day Proclamation.”

In reaction to the carnage and suffering of the Civil War, this feisty abolitionist pleaded with women to accept accountability before God for setting an example of responsible behavior both in home and community, especially with regard to the settling of disputes. With what might appear to be impossible optimism to us—nearly a century and a half of hindsight and continued human suffering later—she suggested a collective peace-seeking through individual hope and action.

A worthy cause?

Is there merit to this quest? Wherever we turn our eyes, we see examples of maternal influence for good or bad. Even Walt Disney’s iconic bunny “Thumper” relayed sage maternal advice to his friend “Bambi,” saying “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all!”

As my mama has been in the grave and awaiting the resurrection for over 33 years—her time of passing along wise reproof was cut short—I’ve paused to give voice to some maternal advice that helped shape and mold my thinking in the ways of peace. Think back with me to your childhood and ask yourself what words your mama taught you. Did they sound anything like these few pithy nuggets of wisdom?

Advice and action

• “Stop arguing with your brother—even if you think you’re right! Remember that when you point your finger, there are three pointing back at you!”

Mama was alerting me to the danger of self-deception (Jeremiah 17:9). We’d talk often about the need for humility when pleading my cause before God, accepting that I couldn’t direct my own steps without His lead (Jeremiah 10:23).

She directed me to a lifetime devoted to understanding and developing humility as an essential tool for settling disputes before they mushroom out of control.

• “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Mama took me to Acts 20:35 to teach me that cultivating a habitual mind-set of “give” versus “receive” eliminates space for vanity, entitlement and pride. It is well worth the time devoted to personally grasping the altruism of this statement from our youth even into advanced age.

Mama taught me that acting upon this responsibility before God humbly seeks to promote the well-being of others.

• “Respect your father and the elderly.”

My mama taught me to respect my dad as the head of the household even though, from the time I was 13 until his death, he and I held different religious beliefs. With parental prerogative, he prohibited my attending my church’s summer camp and the Feast of Tabernacles through my teen years, which meant for five years I kept the first holy day and the Last Great Day at home with my younger brother (yes, the same one with whom I argued).

It was important for me to understand the principle in Ephesians 6:1-3 even during those angst-filled years. God Himself included honoring parents as a commandment (Exodus 20:12); it follows that deference and respect due those privileged to live long lives equates to learning to fear God (Leviticus 19:32).

She urged me to seek understanding from those devoted to God and to give deference to the experience of age and wisdom. This helped me to keep from thinking my untested conclusion was the right—or only—one.

• “Say ‘thank you’ often.”

My mama was a product of her generation, for whom a written “thank you” was a mark of etiquette and sincerity. Today we call or hurriedly text “thx!” but the lesson remains—taking the time to say “thank you” forces attention off self and onto the sacrifice of the benefactor. Scores of scriptures hold a stash of instruction on how to be thankful—the antithesis of ingratitude.

Mama taught me that thankfulness eliminates dissatisfaction and promotes peace and harmony(Colossians 3:15).

Our spiritual mother

Galatians 4:26 refers to the spiritual Jerusalem as the mother of us all. She nurtures her children through the infinite wisdom of her parenting manual—Holy Scripture—as my mama did, teaching me how to avoid disputes.

Can it work?

Do I, like Julia Ward Howe, think we as women can actually wield influence in our homes and communities to effect peace? Since it takes just one positive action to begin a positive reaction, my answer’s filled with hope and optimism: You bet I do!

Besides, it’s just one of those things my mama taught me!

Janel Johnson has been married to Church of God, a Worldwide Association, pastor Doug Johnson for almost 38 years. She is the mother of three adult children and grandmother of two.