The Cycle of Anger

Anger is a powerful emotion that influences everyone to a certain extent. Sometimes this anger can have dangerous consequences. How should we deal with anger?

Anger.

OxfordDictionaries.com defines it as “a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.” Most people don’t need anger defined for them, however, because they’ve experienced it! Anger is a universal emotion that has affected everyone who has ever lived.

While there is such a thing as righteous anger (see “Anger: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”), mankind seldom displays it. People’s anger is usually linked to their own selfish desires and wants (James 4:1-3). This is the anger that we should be concerned about.

The danger of anger

Anger can be very harmful if it is not controlled and can be especially damaging to our relationships since it is often directed towards other people. We have to be wary that we don’t sin when we are angry.

Anger is often a two-way street, however. Very seldom do rational people become angry without a logical cause—at least in their own minds.

Beginning the cycle of anger

Many times anger can be avoided, but people have a natural inclination to grow angry whenever they perceive an offense has been committed. How many times has one little misunderstanding or a misinterpreted word become a battle of words?

How often does your anger feed off of another person’s anger? Have you ever noticed how sometimes a raised voice or an impatient comment can immediately make you feel angry? What happens next if, instead of calmly dealing with the situation, you erupt? Often this will, in turn, increase the anger of the other person. Anger in one person can lead to anger in another. It can then increase in both people until violence breaks out or harmful words are spoken that cannot be taken back.

And, of course, we can’t discount the influence of Satan, the prince of the power of the air. In referring to “children of wrath,” Ephesians 2:2-3 links the release of anger with the spirit of Satan. James 1:15 also points out that Satan can take advantage of our tendency to sin.

The cycle at work

An example of the cycle of anger at work is given in the story of Esther. The book of Esther starts with the Persian King Ahasuerus throwing a grand party that lasted seven days. At the end of the seven days, the king sent for his queen, Vashti.

For some reason, the queen refused to come before the king and his fellow partygoers. We are not told the reason Vashti refused to come, but we are given details of Ahasuerus’ response: “Therefore the king was furious, and his anger burned within him” (Esther 1:12). After asking advice from his counselors, he forbid her from coming before him and stripped her of royal status (verse 19).

But when his anger calmed down, it seems he may have regretted his actions or perhaps those of his former queen (Esther 2:1). The hunt began for a new queen, but would this even have been necessary had he held his anger in check? And could it be that Vashti’s refusal to come at his request was based on anger and started the cycle of anger in the king?

Stopping the cycle—now

Anger is a natural impulse that often emerges when we encounter negative external forces. What happens next will depend on how we control our natural impulse toward anger and how we handle anger if it is expressed. We can stop the cycle of anger.

There are various methods that we can use to prevent ourselves from getting angry or to defuse a situation before the anger escalates:

• “A soft answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). An angry word can escalate a situation, but a gentle word can stop an angry person in his or her tracks.
• Control your own anger. Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit for a reason (Galatians 5:22-23). It enables us to be conscious of wrong attitudes and resist Satan’s influence. It helps as we fight the temptation to let anger overwhelm us and instead make right choices.
• Get all the facts before responding. Many of us get angry at situations that we don’t fully understand. We can avoid a lot of problems for ourselves, and others, if we refrain from responding in anger before we get a full view of a situation.

Mankind has been caught up in the cycle of anger since Cain killed Abel. It is up to each one of us to choose not to allow ourselves to go down the path that begins the cycle of anger.

For more on dealing with our anger and the type of anger that we should have, read “3 Ways to Handle Anger” and “What Does the Bible Say About Anger?”