What to Do When You Feel Unappreciated

Have you ever felt unappreciated? If you have, you may be surprised to learn that an important biblical character likely felt this way too. What can we learn from him?

You’ve been doing this job for years.

You show up early. You stay late. You dutifully fulfill your responsibilities. But it seems like nobody cares. Is it worth it? Is it even needed? If you stopped, would anyone notice?

If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions, you’re not alone. Millions of people feel underappreciated. A Forbes study reported over 2 million people leave their jobs every month—and 43 percent give lack of recognition as their reason. If you feel this way, have you ever asked yourself, Why do I feel unappreciated and ignored?

Persians and Jews

If we were to go back in time nearly 2,500 years to the Persian Empire, we would find, sitting upon the throne, Xerxes I and his Jewish wife, Queen Esther.

You may have read Esther’s story or seen it portrayed in a movie. Usually, when the story is told, the heroine is the main character. But what about Mordecai? The name might sound familiar, but have you considered his role in the story?

The abridged version of the story goes something like this: The Persian king removes his queen and replaces her with Esther. The king doesn’t know Esther is a Jew. Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, refuses to bow to the king’s right-hand man, Haman. Haman gets very angry and concocts a sinister plot to destroy Mordecai and all of his people. At Mordecai’s prod, Esther goes before the king, risking her life to save her people. The people are saved, and a holiday is pronounced for the Jews (Purim).

But there’s more to the story.

Though we often draw lessons of courage and faith from Esther, what can we learn from Mordecai? The book of Esther presents him as a quiet, humble, hardworking servant of God who didn’t mind staying in the background, doing what needed to be done. Although we usually focus on the faith and heroics of Esther, we shouldn’t forget God’s humble servant, Mordecai.

Lessons from Mordecai
 

1. Mordecai showed persistent faith. Mordecai teaches us that persistent faith is vital, even when recognition is lacking. In the end, Mordecai was recognized for his actions, but throughout most of the story he wasn’t. Consider the things he went through: His beloved younger cousin, who was like his daughter, was taken from him. He performed a good deed that went completely unnoticed for months (or maybe years). And he lived through a time when his people faced complete annihilation. Through it all, Mordecai never wavered in his faith in God. That is a huge lesson we can learn when we go through difficulties or feel underappreciated.

2. Mordecai cared for his family. Mordecai was a loving family man who took in his orphaned cousin as his own daughter. He paced in front of the palace to make sure Esther was safe. And Mordecai encouraged Esther to hide her nationality in order to save her life (and others).

3. Mordecai encouraged others to build faith. Mordecai was not just a man of faith himself; he also helped strengthen Esther’s faith. Mordecai sent word to Esther of Haman’s plan and encouraged her to go before the king. He reminded her that deliverance would come—because he had faith in God’s promises to Judah’s descendants. Mordecai later wrote a letter encouraging his people to rejoice over their victory.

How to handle feeling unappreciated

Though Mordecai did most of his heroics in the background, he played just as much of a role in saving the Jews as Esther. Likewise, don’t think your “behind the scenes” work goes unnoticed by God! The Bible assures us that He sees all things (Psalm 33:13-15).

So what should we do when we feel unappreciated? Remember whose opinion really counts. Those around you may not always take the time to say “Good job!”—but remember, that’s okay. If the Creator of the universe knows and sees, then we can live with a lack of human appreciation at times. We are told to cast “all your care on Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Here are a few other things to consider:

• Appreciate others. Don’t allow yourself to be guilty of failing to show appreciation! When you notice someone doing something well, let him or her know that you see it and appreciate it! Showing appreciation for others can take our focus off our own problems.
• Resist the urge to mope. Allowing yourself to become self-absorbed won’t make people appreciate you. They may notice you, but acknowledgement isn’t the same as appreciation.
• Remember the bigger picture. You are valuable and have an awesome purpose (Luke 12:7; see the article “Purpose of Life”).

At the end of the book, Mordecai is honored (Esther 10:2-3). Mordecai’s story gives us the opportunity to ask ourselves: Am I faithful and steadfast even when I’m not acknowledged? Do I seek the good of others? Do I speak peace to those around me?

In the long run, it doesn’t really matter whether other humans notice the good you’re doing, because God does. And what matters most is why you’re doing it.

To learn more about this inspiring book, read our article “The Book of Esther,” and while you’re at it, why not read the actual book of Esther too!