What Is Jealousy?

Jealousy is a bad thing, right? So why does the Bible use it to describe God?

Jealousy has a lot of bad connotations in English. I hadn’t thought much about jealousy, but assumed it was basically the same as envy or coveting, which are sins.

But after experiencing it, thinking more about it and reading how the Bible uses the word jealous, I realized it can be very different from envy.

Solomon Schimmel, a psychologist and author of The Seven Deadly Sins: Jewish, Christian, and Classical Reflections on Human Nature, is quoted as saying this about the difference:

“We have defined envy as a feeling of pain that a person experiences when he sees someone else possesses something which he does not. Jealousy arises when a person possesses something of great value and significance to himself and fears that someone else will deprive him of it. Threats to self-esteem are usually involved in both envy and jealousy, but the situations that provoke them are different and the jealous person will probably be more ready to take overt action to protect what he believes is rightfully his.”

The main difference between jealousy and envy, then, is possession. Envy involves something someone else has, while jealousy (good or bad) is felt concerning something that you already have.

There are many pitfalls and problems that can be associated with jealousy. Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary includes definitions like, “hostile toward a rival” and “distrustfully watchful: suspicious.” These self-centered attitudes are wrong and must be avoided.

But still, the Bible uses the word jealous as a description of God. What can we learn from the biblical meaning of jealousy?

“Whose name is Jealous”

Exodus 34:14 says, “For you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” God is described this way numerous times in the Bible (Exodus 20:5; Deuteronomy 4:24; 5:9; 6:15; Joshua 24:19; Ezekiel 39:25; Joel 2:18; Nahum 1:2).

God feels this way toward His people because He doesn’t want us to go after any other god. Yes, this means that we rightfully belong to Him (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). He knows what’s best for us and that is HIM! Just as the Seventh Commandment protects and preserves the special, exclusive relationship between husband and wife, God wants His people to have a special, exclusive relationship with Him.

This has implications for men, as well. Being created in the image of God, men have been given a right capacity for jealousy toward their wives, just as God has jealousy toward His Church. But it is important to realize that the jealousy that can come naturally—being overly possessive, suspicious, domineering and oppressive toward one’s wife—is not what God intends men to have.

Love, both between husband and wife and between God and His people, demands complete faithfulness each from the other.

Godly jealousy

Jealousy is obviously an important trait that God possesses and that He shares with us as men. God certainly feels a great desire to protect the Church as the bride that she is.

Paul describes that relationship in this way: “For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2).

Likewise, God has given us men the innate drive to be the guardian of our wives, and one part of that role can be a feeling of “godly jealousy.” It is a loving and totally unselfish jealousy with the best interest of the wife at heart. It is not selfish, suspicious or paranoid, but the fruit of love and a sound mind.

In understanding the right kind of jealousy a husband can have for his wife, we can have a more complete understanding of God’s nature and His most righteous jealousy for us.

For further reading on the love a husband should have for his wife, see "The Toughest Challenge."

Jedd Cole, 21, attends the University of Wisconsin as an elementary education student. He also attends the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in the Beloit, Wisconsin, congregation.