Do You Have Any Kids Yet?

“Things weren’t going well so we decided to have a baby,” the clerk told us. “Maybe we’ll get married.” Her story got me thinking about what God intended for marriage, family and sex.

“Do you have any kids yet?” the clerk asked.

My fiancée and I had just told the young lady at the checkout counter that we were recently engaged. We anticipated a congratulatory response, but instead we were met with the question, “Do you have any kids yet?”

Distracted by the question, we fumbled a response that we were waiting until after marriage to have children. The clerk responded cheerfully, “My boyfriend and I have a four-month-old. Things weren’t going well so we decided to have a baby. Maybe we’ll get married.” Despite her enthusiasm, we had serious doubts about her relationship’s longevity considering its rocky foundation.

A common affair

This sad story is becoming more prevalent in our society. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, nearly 40 percent of U.S. births in 2007 were to unwed mothers. Children born to unwed parents in the United States soared 26 percent in the five years from 2002 to 2007. This trend is echoed throughout most of the developed world (Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development report).

There are many underlying factors that gave rise to this change. The accessibility of birth control and abortion on demand have made sex outside of marriage commonplace. This problem is made worse by the increasingly influential media and entertainment industry. The depiction of “open” relationships in movies and television programs generally fail to show the hurt, distrust and confusion that often accompany such conduct. Tragically, these unrealistic portrayals have normalized a practice that was taboo just a few decades ago.

But, in our postmodern world, does it really matter anyway? If you believe in God, does He care about this intimate subject? Indeed, God weighs in on what is considered by so many to be a “personal” decision. Note His straightforward command: “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). The Bible further clarifies that this means all sex outside of marriage is wrong: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). God does not pull any punches on this topic. He is very clear about His expectations.

Be fruitful and multiply

Our world encourages young adults to adopt a worldview that God’s guidance and instruction is outdated and not relevant today. Many would paint God as an old-fashioned ogre, out of touch with the hip, modern lifestyles available to young people today. After all, some would argue, God is all about “don’ts.” Where is the fun in that?

Ironically, nothing could be further from the truth. Note the first instruction given to humanity by our loving Creator: “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28). God is very interested in successful, loving relationships among His children. God created marriage, family and sex, and He tells us, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Worth waiting for

God provides the framework for family success through the marriage covenant. For young adults, a happy marriage is indeed a treasure worth waiting for. Seeking God’s will and trusting in His ability and willingness to provide a spouse can certainly be challenging and frustrating at times. King David provides this encouragement, “Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!” (Psalm 27:14).

If you are an unmarried young adult, where does this leave you? First, life does not begin with marriage. There are many opportunities to serve God and others while single. If you desire to be married, wisely use your time while waiting to find the right person. Prepare financially for marriage and children, get an education and enrich your experiences by traveling the world. Most importantly, take time to develop your relationship with God.

It is comforting to know God is working out His plan on this earth. Regardless whether we are single or married, we can all be developing the character and fruits necessary to serve in His Kingdom. For more information about God’s Kingdom and His plan for you, see the online booklet The Mystery of the Kingdom.

Jason Hyde, who didn't meet his wonderful wife Emily until he was 29, attends the Louisville, Kentucky, congregation of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association.