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Written by Barbara Lee
What could I, as a single person, do to enrich my life? How could I combat the loneliness I was feeling?
When will I ever get married?
I’m single, I’m lonely and I’m feeling sorry for myself. …
What could I do to deal with these feelings and make my life better?
Focus in life
I have my own home, my own car, my own belongings. I’m responsible for taking care of all these things, buying and cooking my own food, earning the money to support myself, taking care of my health, etc. Thinking about all the things that I, as a single, am responsible for can feel quite overwhelming at times. Once I took care of all of the mundane tasks of daily life, it seemed there was no time left for anything else!
Due to my single life and all of my responsibilities, I began to realize that my focus in life was myself.
What had to change?
In searching my sources for advice and consulting with those I respected, I came across the following: “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).
I also came across a statement attributed to Mark Twain: “The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
Being the planner I am, I decided I had to figure out how to adjust my focus.
What was the plan?
What could I do for other people? I could help with the potlucks at church. This idea was not a part of my strengths, desires or talents.
What else could I do? I was already playing the piano and the flute and was involved in music at church. Could I take that any further? I could mentor some of our teens and help them realize their desire to participate in the church music program.
Maybe I could find a community band that would accept another flute player? That proved to be successful as well.
What else could I do? There were some shut-ins at church who needed things mailed to them each week. I didn’t feel like I was very good at relating to people who were sick or elderly, but if I just sent them some mail, I wouldn’t have to talk to them, would I? This worked out fine, and before long I found myself talking to these people on the phone and even visiting with them as time allowed.
I found that there were some things that suited me well, and other things that did not. Soon I found a good mix of things to volunteer for and participate in. These things keep me busy, and give me a focus other than myself.
How can we be happy as singles?
Focusing on others can be as simple or complex as we want to make it. If we are unable to get around, it can be as simple as talking to the people at church who are sitting or standing all alone. We can send cards to those who are sick or who need encouragement for other reasons. In addition to this, we can use our God-given talents, such as music or technical skills.
Cheer someone up
Please join me in making it a goal to focus on cheering someone else up. It will go a long way in helping us be happy in our lives as singles.
Barbara Lee attends the Twin Cities, Minnesota, congregation of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, and works as an IT business analyst in the financial services industry. She is a musician and an exercise enthusiast in her free time.
For more on the blessings and benefits of serving others, see:
