“I Miss the Old You”

I discovered that when you become a Christian and try to change for the better, some of your old friends may not like the changes. But they may want you to pray for them.

Before becoming part of the Church of God, I was the one everyone expected to stand out. I tried to always be quick with a joke. I kept things interesting and chose clothing, jewelry and hair to impress or shock. I listened to all kinds of music and saw every movie. I was rarely ever home on a Friday night, and I slept in on Saturdays.

But when I was first called to learn the truths of the Bible, it was like a fire inside of me begging to learn more. I found it increasingly difficult to explain my new beliefs to my friends. It seems the more excited I got, the less interested they were in spending time with me. As time went by, it got harder to fit in with my old world while keeping God’s Word.

Changing perspectives

Close companionship is hard to come by, so it was especially hard that, for the first time, I had become involved with something that these close friends had no interest in. I wondered, “Why? It’s so easy to understand!” (For a Frequently Asked Question on this subject, see “Should You Try to Convert Others?”) But even as these relationships are strained, we may still try to hold onto them, because we do still love these people.

Sometimes I hear from my old friends things like, “I miss the old you.” Or, “That guy reminds me of you—I mean the way you used to be. He is hilarious. You have to meet him.” It never occurs to them that I may not want to be reminded of my old behavior.

We all have our own personal reminders of the old us. For me it was my temper, a foul mouth and rebellious attire. I stood out among my friends as the one who would say anything at any time—never too afraid to offend, always trying to make the whole room laugh at the expense of one or two of my own friends or even myself. Now I cringe when I hear my old friends curse, gossip and tell dirty jokes.

The hardest part

The hardest part, I believe, is keeping the right frame of mind about God’s wonderful calling. It’s not easy, and it involves sacrifices. But we can’t put it off or demand that all our old friends see everything the same way and at the same time we do.

When Christ was recruiting His apostles, His approach wasn’t, “When you have time, come see Me” or, “Listen—your friends are gonna love the good news!” No, He focused on the person He was calling right then and told him to be willing to forsake everything and “follow Me” (John 1:43). We must love God more than we love anyone else.

David lamented his troubles about something similar when he said: “I have become a stranger to my brothers, and an alien to my mother’s children; because zeal for Your house has eaten me up, and the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me. … I also made sackcloth my garment; I became a byword [or mockery] to them” (Psalm 69:8-9, 11).

But it did not hold David back. He pressed on and made sure that his concern was seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Like him, I must not consider God’s laws a burden. I must not attempt to compromise my calling with my previous life. I’m supposed to be a good example to my old friends and be a brother to my new ones. It seems my example may not mean much to them now, but it may make a difference later.

But they want me to pray for them …

Even though I hear, “I miss the old you” and, “The old you would have thought that was funny,” I am never short of prayer requests from my closest friends. Whether it is for an illness, a child or another trial in their lives, I have been called upon to pray. While I may be the joke at times to my old close friends, that’s okay with me, because of the friends and brothers I have to fellowship with on a weekly basis.

I take inspiration from the most impressive example of patience I have ever seen. I know a woman who, during the 40 years she has been in the Church of God, was scoffed at by her husband and avoided in public by her siblings. But now she is the matriarch of her family. Her perseverance and zeal toward God have proved that her prayers are heard. The family loves and respects her now, and she is the first one they call when they need prayers.

Her example is making a big difference for others—and for me.

John Columbo, 28, is married and has two small children. He attends the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Related resources:

• How Does Jesus Christ Live in Us?
• How Do You Know You Have the Holy Spirit?
• Should You Try to Convert Others?
• What Does It Mean to Be Born Again?