Is Venting and Ranting the Way to Deal With Bad Situations?

When we deal with stressful situations, often our instinct is to vent and rant about it to others. But is there a better way to deal with a bad situation?

Picture this: Something happened during the day that’s really bothering you. You’re frustrated, anxious, saddened, upset or confused about a situation.

What’s the first thing you do? Maybe you call or text a friend and vent to let off some steam or ask for advice. Maybe you write a blog post or a talk about it on Facebook or another social network. But is this really where we should be turning first? Should these really be our primary means of coping?

Heated words are powerful

If we begin to speak while we’re still going through those deep emotions, we might say things we’ll later wish we could take back. We can hurt people’s feelings or give others a bad impression of us. We can also say things about ourselves that are personal or private that we would rather not let other people know, or spread personal information about others that could lead to gossip. When we are going through stress, it’s often easy to let our guard down and say things we would not normally say.

The Bible gives sound advice about maintaining control of our words—despite the circumstances. Consider the wisdom of these scriptures:

• Proverbs 29:20: “Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”
• James 1:19: “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak.”
• Ecclesiastes 5:2: “Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.”

Take a deep breath and find a new perspective

So, what is the best thing to do when we find ourselves in a situation like this? It’s always helpful to try to take a moment to calm down, remove yourself from whatever frustrating situation you’re in and consider the bigger picture. It’s easy to get worked up about difficult situations, but it’s helpful to maintain a proper perspective. God wants us to always keep the perspective that our problems “are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

A strong vision and the focus we, as Christians, can have on the Kingdom of God can help us through the problems we face in life (Matthew 6:33).

God is our counselor

Once we’ve taken a moment to calm down, the most important way to deal with stressful situations is to go to God in prayer. God wants us to communicate with Him about our lives—because He is our Father.

Let’s look at Hebrews 4:14-16: “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Going to God in prayer first, before consulting others, can be an efficient way to work towards solving our problems. One of God’s titles is “Counselor” (Isaiah 9:6). This describes His desire that we cast “all [our] care upon Him, for He cares for [us]” (1 Peter 5:7).

Figuring out what to do next

Once we’ve gone to God in prayer, we can begin to search the Bible for His answer. That is how God communicates with us. Take time to “meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success” (Joshua 1:8). God speaks to us and guides us through His Word (2 Timothy 3:16; Romans 15:4).

After seeking God’s help and counsel, then it is good to seek counsel from people who we respect for wisdom. In fact, God encourages us to get help from others, “for by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and in a multitude of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 24:6). But, remember, there is a big difference between ranting to someone (usually to make ourselves feel better!) and maturely seeking wisdom and guidance.

Again, taking time at the beginning of the trial to calm down and go to God first will help us avoid the pitfall of talking to someone for the sake of ranting!

There’s no question that we all face difficult situations in life. The real question is, how will we respond?

For more insight into controlling our words, read our blog “A Word to the Wise.”

Tamara Valley is a member of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in Houston, Texas.