5 Things Our Father Does That Parents Should Do

God is the ultimate parent. We are to use His example as a blueprint for how to parent our children. Striving to be like God can help us be the best parents possible.

Children have a constant need for attention. They can be very demanding. Parents are responsible to discern what needs to be addressed and how to work with their children. How we address each situation shapes our child for the future.

Thankfully, parents have a great example to follow in how to fulfill their responsibilities—God the Father! Let’s explore five important things our Father does for us that we should be doing for our children.

1. Be the mediator and the judge

As much as my sons love each other, I often intervene to break up fights. As they get older, I am encouraging them to work out their differences without telling their mother or me. It is when the name calling gets hurtful and they get physical that I have to step in and remind them that they love each other and that they need to stop.

Likewise, God reminds us that we should work out our differences by showing love and mercy to one another, always being mindful of Him. Jesus Christ reminds us to “be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful” (Luke 6:36).

2. Discipline with mercy

Parents are often advised, “Don’t discipline your children in anger.” Unfortunately, anger happens more often than we would like. (See “Overcoming Dangerous Emotions: Anger” and “What Does the Bible Say About Anger?” for help with this.) The important thing to remember is to encourage, teach and be merciful. Encouragement is a priceless tool. We should always remind our children that we love them and we want what is best for them when we are disciplining them.

In Hosea 11 God expresses His love for His child, Israel. In verses 8-9 God asks, “How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? ... My heart churns within Me; My sympathy is stirred. I will not execute the fierceness of My anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim. For I am God, and not man, the Holy One in your midst; and I will not come with terror.”

When raising my own kids, I’ve found my frustration can overwhelm my ability to be encouraging. It is at times like this when mercy is so important. Instead of a hastily devised harsh punishment, a good, old-fashioned time-out can come in handy. Some quiet time can take three rambunctious children and make them very aware of their surroundings.

When Miriam rebelled against Moses in Numbers 12, she was punished with leprosy. Moses cried out to God to heal her. God responded in verse 14, “If her father had but spit in her face, would she not be shamed seven days? Let her be shut out of the camp seven days, and afterward she may be received again.” Her punishment wasn’t to be leprous the rest of her life, but was similar to a very serious time-out.

3. Spend time with your children

When I was a child, my father spent a lot of time on the road. While many kids were camping, going to ball games and sharing their accomplishments with their dads, I often didn’t. He wasn’t a bad dad; it was just how he provided for the family. Unfortunately, his absence put a lot of strain on the family. That experience helps me realize that I need to be present as often as I can to lead and encourage my family.

God promises similar encouragement in Psalm 34:18: “The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” Jesus Christ also promised in Matthew 28:20, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” The presence of God in our lives is what gives us the encouragement to keep going, even in difficult times. If God is with us, who can be against us?

4. Establish and enforce rules

It seems that today’s kids often have their parents “tied around their finger.” It is important while they are young to establish boundaries within and outside the home. Boundaries help children learn to be functional adults by accepting responsibility, knowing limitations and handling disappointment.

Likewise, God has established 10 Commandments for us to live by. They are 10 basic instructions for loving God and loving other people. They are designed to keep us safe and help us to live happy lives (Proverbs 29:18)! Although life is full of ups and downs, keeping God’s commandments is the first step to having a relationship with the God who gives us hope.

Exodus 20:12 tells us to honor our parents. Establishing this rule inside and outside the home can help our children trust us as parents and grow in confidence. Teaching our children to obey this commandment also offers them a potential blessing. The commandment promises, “That your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”

5. Keep your promises

Anyone who has ever experienced the heartbreak of a broken promise knows how difficult it is to regain trust. My oldest son Michael has some pretty strong desires when it comes to his bedtime routine. If I have to work late and will not be home to do our routine, he says to me, “Make sure you come and kiss me when you get home.” I always oblige. If he is unsure whether I will, he asks me to wake him up. I will often agree to the request no matter what the hour, so he knows that I am home.

If I promise to do this and don’t follow through, I show him our relationship is not important and I can’t always be trusted.

Our God promises to return and take away pain, suffering and confusion and give us a glorious new life. Part of this includes the promise to wake us up from sleep—to resurrect His children from the dead. We are told in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 that “the dead in Christ will rise first. … And thus we shall always be with the Lord.” If our Father in heaven can keep this promise, can’t we keep a simple promise to take our child to a ball game or to the movies?

To learn more about principles of godly parenting, read “Helping Our Children Grow” and “Parenting Advice.”