Empty Nest

Parents often experience depression while transitioning to life after their children leave home. How can you deal with the sadness of Empty Nest Syndrome?

The house seems empty and quiet—except for the noise coming from the refrigerator. Any minute there should come sounds of ruckus from one of the other rooms. But the anticipation is only met with more silence. The feeling of loneliness is overwhelming. Friends say to cry it all out, but the tears do not come all at once. They come at the oddest times, when least expected. Anything could set them off. Believe it or not, Empty Nest Syndrome is real.

Empty Nest Syndrome

According to PsychologyToday.com, “Empty Nest Syndrome refers to feelings of depression, sadness, and/or grief experienced by parents and caregivers after children come of age and leave their childhood homes.” The Mayo Clinic website says: “Empty nest syndrome is a phenomenon in which parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home.” Empty Nest Syndrome generally affects women more than men.

As with all major life changes, there is an adjustment period. God expects parents to raise their children according to His standards, so they can leave the nest and thrive on their own (Genesis 2:24). Parents should desire this for their children. But the sadness can still be a struggle for some.

How can you handle these feelings of sadness?

Stay positive

The adjustment period will be easier if we focus on the positive. Knowing that our children have been raised in God’s way should give us confidence as they leave our homes. We are told to “be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

If we are struggling to stay positive, we should take the struggle to God in prayer. We can also meditate on verses 8-9: “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Stay active and involved

When struggling with this, one might need to open up about these feelings with loved ones, spend more time with close friends, rediscover hobbies, go back to college or engage in other activities. However, if the depression lasts too long, seeking help from a support group or a counselor could be helpful.

Empty Nest Syndrome is real and affects people differently. For the people greatly affected by it, adjusting to the emptiness can be difficult, but there are ways to come to grips with the children being gone.

Every new phase in life takes adjustment—and this one can be difficult. Keeping a positive outlook and staying active are two keys to defeating Empty Nest Syndrome.

For more insight into dealing with depression, read “Overcome Misery: Be Happy.”

Pam Rehm is a member of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, in the Little Rock, Arkansas, area.