“Mrs. Grudge”

Meet Mrs. Grudge. Here she comes down the aisle wearing a big, broad smile. Everything looks fine on the outside. She seems happy. She has a loving family. She is always serving in church. She even finds time to volunteer at the school. Mrs. Grudge is someone everyone likes.

But beneath the surface …

Mrs. Grudge keeps herself busy doing for others. Well, no one would suspect what is lurking just beneath the surface. There is a big, fat, ugly G-R-U-D-G-E. Webster says the word grudge is “a feeling of resentment.” It may only seem like a passing uncomfortable thought, but it’s much more. Hurt feelings, if not tended to, can become resentment.

When asked if anything is wrong, she replies, “Oh, of course not.” She knows she’s supposed to forgive, but how can she? She’s been lied to. Her boss led her on. She was promised the job. She was in line for the job. At the last moment, someone else came in and scooped up her promotion. She felt betrayed.

Another time, Mrs. Grudge found out that someone had lied about her. Her character was sullied. She lets her mind ruminate on the specific time and place she first found out about the lie. She thinks about the person who discredited her. It’s hard to keep from obsessing over the hurt. She wants to tell a friend and get some sympathy. Surely she deserves to have someone understand her hurt. She just can’t suffer in silence.

Struggling to forgive

It’s important for us, as Christians, to not bear a grudge. This time of year we are examining ourselves, and we are coming to the Passover in a repentant attitude, thankful for God’s forgiveness for our past sins. If you, like Mrs. Grudge, are struggling to forgive others, here are a few questions to ask. They can help us examine whether we have totally forgiven someone.

1. Do I still want to tell someone the harm the person did to me?
2. Can I put the person at ease in being around me?
3. Can I actually pray for a blessing for the person who harmed me?

God gives us instruction in forgiveness. One encouraging passage is in Colossians 3:13-14: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love” (New International Version). We can, with God’s help, forgive people totally. We can let the person off the hook. We can even sincerely pray for that person to be blessed. (This is a hard one.)

Passover is an excellent time to forgive others. In fact, we must come to Passover with love and forgiveness in our heart. God has already promised us total forgiveness. He has set us free. He is a great and awesome God to forgive and forget. He never holds a grudge.

If Mrs. Grudge is staring back at us in our spiritual looking glass, get rid of her by making sure you have totally forgiven everyone you know. Are we ready for Passover? If so, we will be grateful and thankful to God for all the times He’s forgiven us.What joy! What peace!

Give the gift of forgiveness. It’s the best gift you can ever give yourself.

Judy Servidio has been married to her husband, Jim, for 37 years and lives in Houston, Texas, where she serves alongside him in the ministry. She loves grandparenting, traveling and reading.