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ROKU App“They’re Playing Our Song!” Helping Children Build Right Relationships With the Opposite Sex
Written by Todd Carey
Teens and even preteens are being rushed into romantic relationships. What can parents do to encourage healthy guy/girl friendships without regrets?
I was watching a football game when a commercial came on the screen. I used the interruption to channel surf and came upon a sitcom that, for me, was not very comical at all.
There sat two young adults on a sofa. The young lady was informing the young man how much she was attracted to him when suddenly the air was filled with music. She then proclaimed, “They’re playing our song! Let’s make love!”
The young man was caught off guard and excused himself to the bathroom where he had a conversation with his “conscience.” But his misguided conscience told him it was his duty to have sex, even though he didn’t really like her!
I found myself saying, “What?!” and quickly turning the channel.
“I like you!”
The above scene, unfortunately, is played out far too often among young people today. Children as young as 8 or 9 years old claim a boyfriend or girlfriend, and there is a tendency to treat the opposite sex more like a possession than a person.
Hollywood has seemingly fallen in love with children falling in love, without regard to the impact it can have on young viewers.
We live in a world that has veered away from healthy relationships among young people. Today, liking someone can almost be equated to an unofficial engagement! But discerning parents can help their children learn right and healthy friendships.
Friendships without regrets
When it comes to friendships between boys and girls, parents play a vital role in establishing the best climate for healthy friendships to grow. For young men, parents should seek to discuss what it means to be a “gentleman.” Dad or a respected male in the family could take the lead in this area.
Teaching a boy to be polite is not teaching him to be a weakling. It is teaching him to become successful and respected. A survey by Public Agenda revealed that 67 percent describe today’s teens as “wild” and “rude,” and 61 percent believe young people’s failure to learn honesty, responsibility and respect is a serious problem. It is a parent’s job to counteract these trends.
Parents should teach their sons to honor all women—yes, even girls! They are to be protectors of girls and treat them as sisters. God reserved sex for marriage—period. Our boys should not pressure or feel pressured to do things they know are immoral. Friendships are to be without pressure or guilt.
Politeness and manners are not just for the guys, but for the young ladies too. Teaching good manners helps set the foundation for our daughters becoming socially responsible people, and to be socially responsible is to be accountable for how you treat other people.
Friendships between the sexes can be wholesome, pure and strong without having to move into “mate selection” mode. Some of these friendships may eventually move into thoughts of a future together, but that, too, should be based on strong friendships that are, in turn, based on honor and high regard for moral values between two people.
Let the music play!
One of the greatest joys parents can have is seeing their children having fun with other children in different settings. They seemingly move as one as they play, eat and dance together. Their energy seems endless.
It should be the same way when it comes to their friendships with the opposite sex built on trust, manners and respect. We parents play a vital role in helping to establish these healthy relationships as we teach our children God’s way of life.
Then eventually a husband and wife, whose relationship began as a solid and healthy friendship, may come to a “they’re playing our song” moment. Till then, encourage your children to grab their circle of friends and dance!
Todd Carey serves as a pastor for the Church of God, a Worldwide Association. He and his wife, Gloria, have been married for 24 years and have two sons, Justin and Bronson. Todd and Gloria serve the brethren of Williamsburg, Virginia, and Delmar, Delaware.
For more about friendships and guy/girl relationships, see:
